Toy Bender

As I’ve probably said before, I’ve got a project going while I’m unemployed. It’s a non-fiction book that I’m hoping a publisher will pick up which basically involves me writing about geek things. Because of this project, I’ve watched a lot of Star Trek in the last few months, so I’m still riding high on Trek fever. While doing research, I ran across some cool Star Trek ads for the old Trek Playmates line that I thought I’d share here. First up is a money shot of the Enterprise D:

Playmates sure knew how to make a sweet Enterprise. Hot damn, I curse myself now for not getting one of these back in the day.

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I’m back to pretty much not giving a damn about Star Wars toys again, because I have mostly everything I’d want and not much has been shown to get me riled up during SDCC this year. There are a couple of interesting news items that I feel I should report, however. The first is the possibility of a “playset” that would reenact the burning of Darth Vader’s corpse:

Now this set isn’t going to come out, they’re just trying to gauge interest. Still, Hasbro has gotten a little morbid the last few years. First there was torture rack hand, the Lar’s Homestead just before they were shot and possibly burned alive, and now this. Granted, it is kind of neat, but I don’t think I’ll ever have a need for it.

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Thanks to Comic Con I got a bit derailed on my posting schedule. I want to talk a bit about the Cobra Island seven packs and it’s now super old news. Oh well. Here’s what I wrote anyway:

In what possibly may be the last great release of 25th Anniversary G.I. Joe product and after months of waiting, the Cobra Island seven packs are finally all mine. So what did I think? I’ll tell you what I think!

Assault on Cobra Island (Joes)

Okay, this set’s good and everything, but the only reason I ordered it was so I could get the Cobra pack at a decent price. At five bucks a figure it’s not a bad deal, but I’m not really attached to many of these characters. I really enjoy how they are themed to the mission, yet I’m thinking they could have stuck a more unique figure or two in here to really make this a “must have” set. While I can’t think of any off the top of my head, there are still a lot of Joes that haven’t made it into plastic that should be. Anyway, the only real disappointment in this set is the Chuckles hands. What the hell? He can’t hold anything in his left hand. What kind of infiltration agent can’t hold a briefcase or laptop in his non-gun hand?

Defense of Cobra Island (Cobra):

Now we’re cooking. This set is so tender it’s falling off the bone. I love practically every character in it and especially the Alley Viper. If you’ve stuck around with Toy Bender for awhile you know that I love Alley Viper in a very special way. If he was a real person, he’d be my non-sexual life partner.

I really enjoy the other figures as well and the real surprise/bonus is the battle damaged BAT. He comes with enough stuff to make him into normal BAT if you wanted! That’s super cool. And while I’m not as hot on the Night Creeper, I do like him. I think there’s just something about the hood that throws me off.

All in all both of these sets combined make for an awesome win. Here’s to hoping Hasbro does something like this in the future, to keep the more pure 25th style action coming.

Note: If you want more of a “review” of these figures, I highly recommend LBAM’s review found here. Seriously, LBAM makes me look like a slacker.

Apparently the toy collecting world has had some sort of kerfuffle that I was not aware of. Julius Marx of the rather huge toy website Action Figure Insider managed to win the gigantic (and super rare) Anti-Monitor figure that was available at the ‘09 San Diego Comic Con. He posted his victory picture with the title “Lucky Bastard” on Action Figure Insider:

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More He-Man, more Ghostbusters! Okay, Mattel managed to not disappoint too much at this year’s San Diego Comic Con.

He-Man

Out of the Masters of the Universe figures announced, there have been more aside from Battlecat that has got my boxers in a bunch. To name but a few, there’s a glow in the dark Scare Glow (I have an original SUCKERS!) as well as a Moss Man that’s actually mossy. Sweet!

Now here’s my dilemma. I really want to get into this line, but I don’t want to have to log into some website at a specific time in order to get the figures, so now I’m really considering getting a subscription in order to get one of each. The only problem is that I might end up with a bunch of figures that I don’t want.

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Let’s continue Toy Bender’s half assed armchair coverage of the San Diego Comic Con ‘09. You know, to be honest that so far I haven’t been overly impressed with much of the news coming out so far. I just wish I was there for the social aspect now more than anything… anyway, here’s some Marvel and DC toy offerings.

Marvel

Marvel had a few figures in their Marvel Universe line that got my attention. In particular, I really dug this Thor:

I also liked Vindicator. I know jack and crap about the character, I just dig the costume:

I’ve also got to get my hands on this here Vision. Combine him with a can of white spray paint and you have the perfect 90s version of the figure. Yeah, I like that “costume” you have a problem with that?

The biggest drawback with the Marvel Universe line so far is that it’s hard to buy them when they cost so damned much at most places, combined with the fact that they are often tough to find for me. Where the heck is Moon Knight and why do I have to pay over eight bucks for him?

Note: Pictures came from MarvelousNews.com

DC

I kind of knew about most of the DC offerings going in, especially for the DC Universe Classics line, but it’s still nice seeing pictures of POWER GIRL. I really want her bad, but is she seriously going to be Wal-Mart exclusive? I’ll never see her!

The Joker is a nice surprise for me, because he’s the classic version of the character that appeared in the most excellent Super Powers line.

The 12 inch General Zod figure from Superman II was a nice surprise, but I’d rather take him in 6 inch format.

Note: Pictures from Toy News International.

Man, the problem with SDCC and this here blog is that I can’t keep up with all the stuff going down. So I guess my best strategy is really focus on what really gives me a boner (toy collecting wise) and ignore the less bonerific stuff. I also figure that you get your news other places and you come here for mostly my take on certain things, so it’s easier for all of us just to focus on a few items.

He-Man

In the world of He-Man, I have three words for you: Battle Fucking Cat

Now I haven’t gotten any of the new Mattel Masters of the Universe figures (He-Mans) so far, mostly because of price. I will however now need a He-Man when he’s re-released, because I can’t imagine a world where I don’t have this new kick ass Battlecat and no He-Man to fight with him. I don’t say this often, but that shit is tight. I’m also digging that Teela in there, mostly because that means now that there’s a female body I’m hoping that She-Ra (Princess of Sexy) will be soon to follow.

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It’s getting to the point where I don’t want to talk about or even think about Sideshow Collectibles* G.I. Joe line. Why? Because I desire them, yet I cannot have them. It’s the same reason why I can’t watch Night Court any more. (Markie Post, why didn’t you ever write back?) Sideshow released info on two new items of note fairly recently, so I have to put on my reporter hat once again.

Cobra Throne Environment:

I think the 12″ environments that Sideshow makes are really good ideas, yet they have a pretty high price point. Cobra Commander sure looks bad ass in this thing though. I think the first thing I”m going to do when I take control is have a snake throne built. I’d also have a throne made of the skulls of my enemies, but that would only be for special occasions like Easter and Boxing Day.

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The other day Yo Go Re of OAFE.net (and frequent ToyBender commenter) and I got into a friendly discussion about “price gouging” and “scalping” when it comes to online toy retailers. I have some strong opinions on the matter and so do a lot of other toy collecting types, but mine usually differ from the “let’s grab the pitchforks and torches” mentality that a lot of other collectors have.

Instead of pointlessly discussing why online retailers charge more for toys than say Wal-Mart or Target without any input from an online retailer, I turned to Brian of the online toy shop Brian’s Toys* to get to the bottom of things.

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While trying to come up with something for today, I ran across a couple of things that I wanted to comment on. So I guess that means, it’s a classic link round up! I also want to make you kids aware that the reason why updates have been slow here is that I’m in the process of moving. Saturday is the biggest day for moving junk, but then I have to unpack and all that fun stuff. Plus, I have no idea how long it will be until I have the internet again.

Item: KISS Mr. Potato Heads have to be one of the most useless toys ever. I may be lighting a fire here, but I’ve never really liked KISS’s songs. “Rock and Roll All Nite” is about the only good one and it gets tiring after about 45 seconds.

Item: Is this too soon? I mean, the Micheal Jackson only died a little while ago and we’re already getting a zombie Micheal Jackson?

Item: If you haven’t yet seen this video of Patrick Stewart in Extras watch it. It’s hilarious and it’s my new favorite thing.

Item: In case you were wondering (probably not), my attempt to sell things at Dinosaur Toy Vault is going okay. If you want to get rid of your stuff and don’t want to use eBay I can confirm that eCrater is worth a shot. Still, I currently get a few orders here and there, so you never know when something is going to sell (or not). I also can’t figure out how to combine shipping on orders without doing it manually.

Okay, I’ve teased it and now I finally have a couple of pictures of my first “custom” toy. First as a reminder, here’s the pile of puke version:

My stomach hurts. Now here’s my version (click to enlarge):

As you can see, I went with the standard Cobra red and black seen on classic vehicles like the Stun, HISS, and even the Night Raven (this is before I had heard that there ever was a repaint done in those colors). I removed the top catapult contraption. As much as I like catapults, it just didn’t look right on top of this vehicle. So instead, I put a HEAT viper up there. Nothing is scarier than seeing a giant gun wielding maniac dressed all in yellow, nor as deadly.

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I’ve never been that keen on customizing toys, especially older ones because I have a weird thing about “ruining” the past. I do like when I see really good custom figures, but overall it’s really not my thing. The other day I went over to a friend’s house and bought all of his old G.I. Joes and some other figures. Before you get excited, a lot of them were in bad shape and most of them were from the “crappy” Joe era of the early ’90s. Still, I got a few gems like a V2 Alley Viper.

Out of the stuff I didn’t think I wanted to ultimately keep, I fell in love with a cobra vehicle called the Parasite. It’s a Cobra troop carrier rendered in some of the worst and garish colors I’ve ever seen. Here, take a look:

I’m sorry if you puked on yourself, but you can blame Hasbro in the ’90s for that. I saw that this vehicle had potential under those ugly colors, so I took it upon myself to paint it a bit to give it a better look. Sorry, I don’t have any pictures so far, but so far so good. It already looks a million times better and I haven’t even put it back together. After I clear coat it, I think I’ll post some pictures.

Of course, the big problem with this is that it lacks stickers now and nobody does repro stickers for such an unpopular vehicle. I figure I’ll pick up some stickers from other vehicles and use them, because I think it will fit more of the feel I’m going for anyway. I emailed the “Mexican guy” everyone goes to for most of these sorts of things and so far no email back. Hopefully, he doesn’t think I’m some sort of secret agent or something.

I’ve found this project really fun. It’s almost got me wanting to buy more Parasites to repaint, to at least give these ugly things a second chance at life.

Image from: YoJoe.com

Lately, I’ve been trying to stop at more rummage and garage sales in order to see if I could find any cool toys. I normally don’t do this, because I figure that almost anything good has been long gone and the only things that I’ll find are junk and Power Rangers (which I guess they’re both the same thing if you think about it). Lately though, I’ve decided to roll the dice despite the fact I figure I won’t find anything. That’s why I was totally blown away when I found this (click to make bigger):

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Item: The Winner of the Ultimate Guide to G.I. Joe Vol. 2 is…. Monty Python. Congrats Mr. Python. In case you’re wondering or missed it, Monty’s favorite G.I. Joe toy was the figure Shipwreck. Not a bad choice!

Thanks everyone for playing. Hopefully I’ll have another contest for you all soon.

Thanks again to Krause Publications for their wonderful sponsorship. And thanks to Mark Bellomo for writing the thing in the first place!

Item: Speaking of contests, Target has got a G.I. Joe themed contest going called Chase for the Case where you can win all kinds of cool stuff like lots of cash. You can either text to “instant win” or go through their website. Sorry I don’t have a quick link to the texting info, I can’t find it right now but you can always check out the rules.

Item: Poe Ghostal put up a neat article in response to some anti-toy collecting jerk in Topless Robot’s comments section. You should go there and read it. You should also read the one that I did like that called Defending Toy Collecting if you haven’t before. It’s maybe Toy Bender’s most epic post ever. For reals!

Item: Have you seen Buffy taking care of Edward from Twilight yet? If you haven’t, you really should. It helps illustrated how creepy and not at all romantic that emo Dracular is.

And that, my friends, is the world’s fastest talking man and one of his many pitches for Micro Machines. When I was a kid, I never really got into Micro Machines. My cousins went nuts for the things, but I couldn’t really get into the whole owning tiny cars and trucks thing. I think part of the problem was that I enjoyed telling stories in my play time and I really couldn’t do that with miniature cars and trucks. All I could do with them was, “Vrroom Vroom look at me go!” when I was creating epic stories with my 3 3/4ths scale figures that would make J.R.R. Tolkien weep tears bitter jealousy.

I also kind of didn’t like the commercials, because the fast talking thing is kind of annoying.

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