Toy Bender

With Hasbro currently testing the waters for Battlestar Galactica toys mixed in with some of their Star Wars toys, I can only pray to the gods of Kobol that they’ll start releasing a toy line similar to the Star Wars classic figure scale line. We all know that this would never happen, because the series is way too adult orientated to support a toy line of this magnitude, but a man can dream can’t he? In this multi-part super spectacular update, I’ll list my top ten figure wanted list. At the end, I’ll list my thoughts on possible playsets and vehicles. Yes, I know. I do have too much time on my hands. So without further ado, here are my bottom five must haves.

10. Tom Zarek/Chief Tyrol

Yeah, yeah, this is kind of cheating and a bad way to open a top ten list, but it’s my top ten list on my bloggy blog, damn it. The race between Chief Tyrol and Tom Zarek ends in a draw.

Tom Zarek:

Tom is the guy you absolutely love to hate. I never realized that Richard Hatch, who played the original series Apollo, could really pull off being such a deceiving ass, but he does it so beautifully. All the kids will want their favorite pseudo-bad guy to harass the rest of their figures through political and various slimy under-handed tactics.

Versions: Zarek has to come in his trademark black leather jacket. Ever notice on Galactica that if someone wears a black leather jacket that they’re evil? I think Zarek started that fashion trend.

Accessories: He’d need guns for sure. Viva la revolution!

Chief Tyrol:

My other number ten, Chief Tyrol, is a pretty no-brainer choice. The main reason you’d want him as a figure would be if they released a Viper toy for him to work on. I always loved having characters fixing their pretend busted up ships when I was a kid. Not that I’d actually play with my Battlestar Galactica toys or anything, I’m just saying, you might want him around to lend a hand if something goes wrong.

Versions: Chief would have to come in a lot of versions, he’s been everywhere. There would be the standard deck crew uniform chief, the bearded freak out chief, and even Communist party/labor leader Chief! The power belongs to the workers!

Accessories: Standard chief would have to come with some tools for Viper fixing for sure. Other than that, I imagine him coming with guns in all his versions. The labor leader version needs to have some anti-President Baltar leaflets.

9. Cylon Six

I know some guys have the ultra-hots for Six, but not me. She’s too skinny, unless you like ‘em undernourished, and that’s not this guy’s thang. She also appears to have a man face at times. Calm down fanboys; please don’t have a heart attack. I don’t want to knock the actress at all, because she was a lot prettier when she was in the jogging clothes in that one episode and also when she played the crazy, tortured Gina model. Anyway, all the drooling fanboys are going to buy at least one Six, so making this one is like cashing a check.

Versions: All of the versions I’ve mentioned above, of course. The thing about Six is that she’s in so many different outfits that she’s a variant collector’s dream, or worst nightmare.

Accessories: She’d come with some standard weapons like pistols and rocket launchers (remember this is Hasbro) and maybe Gina, who blewed herself up real good, can come with the briefcase. Combine her and a Dr. Baltar nuke accessory for a really insane time!

8. Dr. Baltar:

The greatest thing they did for the character of Baltar when the revamped the series was to not make him an old guy with a stupid helmet. Dr. Baltar is a must have because he’s such a great character with all his shifty ways. The guy is only 75% evil, so you’ve got to love that. He also provides comedy as well as tension and with his long greasy hair, the kids are sure to love to have a figure of Baltar. Anyway, you can’t have a figure of Six without Baltar around to make out with him, embarrass him, and then threaten him in that order.

Versions: You’d need lab coat Baltar, fancy clothing and high society Balter, Presidential suit Baltar in a box set with two Presidential whores.

Accessories: Cylon detector kit, nuclear warhead to stupidly give away, and Presidential whores.

7. Boomer

I like Boomer, not so much the crazy one that got preggers, but the one that was a Cylon but didn’t know it. Have her in a flight suit, ready to have a personality crisis. Plus, there aren’t enough Asian action figures that aren’t anime related or stereotypical kung-fu heroes.

Versions: I really would only want flight suit Boomer, and not one with a bandaged face. That’s too sad. Instead, she should have a karate chop action for added play value.

Accessories: Pistol with Adama shooting action, bombs to sabotage the Galactica.

6. Starbuck

Starbuck would be the one figure that practically everyone would want. She’s the Wolverine of the series with her loner that plays by her own rules ‘tude. You don’t need any other reason for this bad girl figure. Well, it would be cool if she had pop-out claws like Wolverine, but that might be asking for too much.

Versions: There are lots of versions you could make from pilot version, to boarding team version, to pissed up drunk version, to work out/boxing Starbuck with extra angst.

Accessories: Spear of Apollo, guns, the top gun beer stein, and a huge attitude.

That’s all for this time, keep coming back to see who makes number one!

Battlestar Galactica, toy collecting, toys, action figures, top ten