Toy Bender

On Hisstank.com there were a series of posts depicting some really kick ass customs. They were all gathered together and even though Topless Robot beat me at highlighting these a few weeks ago, they still deserve some loving here. As you can see, three of the greatest action movies stars were customized in G.I. Joe form: Chuck Norris from Delta Force, Arnold Schwarzenegger from Commando, and Sylvester Stallone from Rambo 3.

What’s funny is that out of the three, the most likely to actually make it as a Joe would have been Rambo in a way. There were plans during the 80s of making a Sly Stallone as a G.I. Joe in the guise of Rocky, but Stallone backed out late in the game to sign his likeness over to the Rambo toy line. This line had some horrible action figures with some of the best action features around. Seriously, click on that link if you don’t believe me.

Schwarzenegger would have made an awesome addition to the ranks of G.I. Joe, but his only 3 3/4ths scale appearance was in the Commando line of figures that lasted about a minute and half. Still, I loved them to death and both my Schwarzeneggeres played nice with the G.I. Joe team.

Chuck Norris’s toy appearance was in Chuck Norris: Karate Kommandos. A line that was a larger size scale more in line with Rambo (but of a much, much higher quality). It gave kids the chance to own a variety of Chuck Norrises (Chuck Norri?) with the best one being a shirtless and supremely buff Chuck Norris who had a karate chop action feature when you squeezed his legs. In a word, it was awesome. Don’t get me started on the Karate Corvette of which I never owned, but was quite fond of.

You might have noticed a common thread here. Instead of joining the ranks of a high quality toy line and superior fighting force, all three of these uber-stars only made appearances in their own toy lines. Me thinks that this had a lot to do with the uber-sized egos of each of these individuals. This is all speculation, of course, since there is only one known case of an action star turning down the chance to join G.I. Joe. Regardless we are only left to our imaginations of a world where America’s greatest fighting force was teamed up with America’s greatest film stars. Sigh…