Toy Bender

Careful kids, this edition of eBay Madness! may not be for the sensitive types (i.e. lame-os that can’t handle some flesh rendered into toy form) as it features nude nakedness in it’s purest form! While recently trolling around the darkest corners of online auction giant eBay, I ran across a couple of incredibly strange toy auctions.

The person running the auction appears to be a rather talented sculptor who makes a lot of different heads for use on 1/6th scale bodies. I know there are some of you who enjoy putting Leonardio DiCaprio heads on Spider-Man bodies, but that’s just not my thing. (Side Note: If you are interested in 1/6th scale collecting I highly recommend you check out the Fortress of Testicular Fortitude for all kinds of 1/6th scale money shots.)

The other auctions this lady has are quite titillating… BEHOLD!

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If you’re not interested in my used crap, then stop reading this post now. If you are somewhat interested in the things I’m trying to sell in order to crawl my way out of debt, then this is the perfect post for you to check out. You see, my Rock Band obsession doesn’t pay for itself. I’m in desperate need for a quick fix of downloadable content, so I’ve decided to show off my current round of eBay auctions for y’all in the hopes I might be able to sell something and get me some hot Wonderwall action.

Pimp Daddy Destro

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I’ve been pretty disappointed in eBay lately. There’s been nothing crazy or dumb enough to warrant an eBay Madness post… until now! Through the Yo Joe forums I found this crazy ass auction:

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Usually the purpose of an eBay Madness post is to make fun of the person doing the selling or to point out a item so worthless and/or odd that it is simply hilarious. Not in this case, my friends. The purpose of this eBay Madness is for the utmost praise. I think we all need to take a moment to recognize the Pimp Daddy Darth Vader custom figure which recently sold on eBay as being one of the greatest custom creations to blow our collective minds.

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Some of the craziest auctions I’ve seen on eBay (that are toy related) often come from the Star Wars section there. This auction is perhaps one of the craziest. It’s for a “Hard Body” Storm Trooper, and much to my chagrin it’s not a weightlifter toy with a Stormtrooper head. No, this auction is for a really crappy vintage Stormtrooper that is trying to be passed off, and very poorly, as something other than total piece of crap.

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Here’s an auction that fits the very definition of the title, “eBay Madness”. It’s for an ultra-rare, original Pimp Daddy Destro figure going for 20,000 dollars.

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In the spirit of giving and general overall wonderfulness that I exude every day, I thought I’d share something sent to me by a reader. Frequent commenter (and I’d like to say friend to the site) Yo-go-re, notified me about an eBay auction that he just happens to be running. Well, here it is. It’s a fairly neat custom of Boba Fett with a removable helmet.

Now don’t say I’ve never given to charity.

I’m not one to throw in a simple plug to my dear readers for no reason. I made the best of it and decided to see what other cool custom Star Wars toys are on eBay right now and I ran across this:

Yoda going ape-shit on a clone trooper. This is one of those customs that looks really cool, but really how hard was it to glue a lightsaber to the middle of a clone troopers chest? I’m guessing not very. Still, this is one nifty looking, yet blood thirsty Yoda.

toy, toy collecting, eBay, Star Wars, yoda

Toy customizing is becoming a bigger and bigger thing all the time. People are turning regular toys into even better toys that you can’t get anywhere else all of the time and some are making some pretty good money doing it on eBay. I think it’s gone a bit too far though, and this eBay auction kind of proves it. If you always liked My Little Pony and thought to yourself, “You know, I really like these, but I think it needs more of a stripper/demon look.”, then this toy customizer has what you’ve been secretly been looking for, Stipper My Little Pony

Now, behold her soul devouring gaze!

My Little Pony Knows the dark things inside your soul. She has such wonderful things to show you!

For some reason, this eBay seller had a serious lack of good judgment and thought that putting in enormous glass eyes into a My Little Pony was a really good idea. The results could almost be considered a crime against humanity, or at least some sort of abuse charges should be filed against her.

toy, toy collecting, eBay, My Little Pony, custom

I found a link to this eBay auction the other day and nearly busted a gut. Seriously, I had to go to the Doctor and she told me I had to stop eating marbles. Anyway, check this thing out:

VINTAGE Empire Strikes Back HOTH CLONE TROOPER WITH HIS HEAD BLOWN OFF BY HAN SOLO! HAN ALWAYS SHOOTS FIRST AND ASKS QUESTIONS LATER! THIS IS A GREAT FIGURE TO DISPLAY WITH YOUR OTHER VINTAGE FIGURES! HIS HEAD IS TORN OFF AND HIS HAND HAS BEEN SEVERED LIKE LUKE”S! STOP COLLECTING AND HAVE FUN WITH YOUR SWEET VINTAGE STAR WARS FIGURES! HAN IS NEWISH AND TOO QUICK ON THE DRAW! YOU DON”T EVEN WANT TO SEE WHAT HE DID WITH OUR GREEDO!

Please note the only reason why I’m posting this photo is that it will be taken down by eBay eventually, so this has got to be saved for posterity:

toy, toy collecting, ebay, star wars

There’s really not much to this auction for a vintage Star Wars figure. Star Wars figure for sale, what could go wrong? How about a gigantic block of text that would make a lawyer cry. I dare you to read this and maintain your sanity:

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If you were alive during the late eighties, it was impossible to escape the craze for the California Raisins. These claymation dudes were the cat’s ass. It was one of the very few times where a public service announcement was not only successful it spawned a minor pulp culture phenomena that included two TV specials, a video game, a short lived cartoon series, and tons of other merchandise. Not only was I suckered into the raisin phenomena, but I too had to have as many of the plastic figures, which weren’t really toys but they count, a Raisin bookmark, and a California Raisin t-shirt. I had become a raisin zombie. Or a raisinombie, if you will.

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