Toy Bender

Thanks to Comic Con I got a bit derailed on my posting schedule. I want to talk a bit about the Cobra Island seven packs and it’s now super old news. Oh well. Here’s what I wrote anyway:

In what possibly may be the last great release of 25th Anniversary G.I. Joe product and after months of waiting, the Cobra Island seven packs are finally all mine. So what did I think? I’ll tell you what I think!

Assault on Cobra Island (Joes)

Okay, this set’s good and everything, but the only reason I ordered it was so I could get the Cobra pack at a decent price. At five bucks a figure it’s not a bad deal, but I’m not really attached to many of these characters. I really enjoy how they are themed to the mission, yet I’m thinking they could have stuck a more unique figure or two in here to really make this a “must have” set. While I can’t think of any off the top of my head, there are still a lot of Joes that haven’t made it into plastic that should be. Anyway, the only real disappointment in this set is the Chuckles hands. What the hell? He can’t hold anything in his left hand. What kind of infiltration agent can’t hold a briefcase or laptop in his non-gun hand?

Defense of Cobra Island (Cobra):

Now we’re cooking. This set is so tender it’s falling off the bone. I love practically every character in it and especially the Alley Viper. If you’ve stuck around with Toy Bender for awhile you know that I love Alley Viper in a very special way. If he was a real person, he’d be my non-sexual life partner.

I really enjoy the other figures as well and the real surprise/bonus is the battle damaged BAT. He comes with enough stuff to make him into normal BAT if you wanted! That’s super cool. And while I’m not as hot on the Night Creeper, I do like him. I think there’s just something about the hood that throws me off.

All in all both of these sets combined make for an awesome win. Here’s to hoping Hasbro does something like this in the future, to keep the more pure 25th style action coming.

Note: If you want more of a “review” of these figures, I highly recommend LBAM’s review found here. Seriously, LBAM makes me look like a slacker.

Man, the problem with SDCC and this here blog is that I can’t keep up with all the stuff going down. So I guess my best strategy is really focus on what really gives me a boner (toy collecting wise) and ignore the less bonerific stuff. I also figure that you get your news other places and you come here for mostly my take on certain things, so it’s easier for all of us just to focus on a few items.

He-Man

In the world of He-Man, I have three words for you: Battle Fucking Cat

Now I haven’t gotten any of the new Mattel Masters of the Universe figures (He-Mans) so far, mostly because of price. I will however now need a He-Man when he’s re-released, because I can’t imagine a world where I don’t have this new kick ass Battlecat and no He-Man to fight with him. I don’t say this often, but that shit is tight. I’m also digging that Teela in there, mostly because that means now that there’s a female body I’m hoping that She-Ra (Princess of Sexy) will be soon to follow.

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It’s getting to the point where I don’t want to talk about or even think about Sideshow Collectibles* G.I. Joe line. Why? Because I desire them, yet I cannot have them. It’s the same reason why I can’t watch Night Court any more. (Markie Post, why didn’t you ever write back?) Sideshow released info on two new items of note fairly recently, so I have to put on my reporter hat once again.

Cobra Throne Environment:

I think the 12″ environments that Sideshow makes are really good ideas, yet they have a pretty high price point. Cobra Commander sure looks bad ass in this thing though. I think the first thing I”m going to do when I take control is have a snake throne built. I’d also have a throne made of the skulls of my enemies, but that would only be for special occasions like Easter and Boxing Day.

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Okay, I’ve teased it and now I finally have a couple of pictures of my first “custom” toy. First as a reminder, here’s the pile of puke version:

My stomach hurts. Now here’s my version (click to enlarge):

As you can see, I went with the standard Cobra red and black seen on classic vehicles like the Stun, HISS, and even the Night Raven (this is before I had heard that there ever was a repaint done in those colors). I removed the top catapult contraption. As much as I like catapults, it just didn’t look right on top of this vehicle. So instead, I put a HEAT viper up there. Nothing is scarier than seeing a giant gun wielding maniac dressed all in yellow, nor as deadly.

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I’ve never been that keen on customizing toys, especially older ones because I have a weird thing about “ruining” the past. I do like when I see really good custom figures, but overall it’s really not my thing. The other day I went over to a friend’s house and bought all of his old G.I. Joes and some other figures. Before you get excited, a lot of them were in bad shape and most of them were from the “crappy” Joe era of the early ’90s. Still, I got a few gems like a V2 Alley Viper.

Out of the stuff I didn’t think I wanted to ultimately keep, I fell in love with a cobra vehicle called the Parasite. It’s a Cobra troop carrier rendered in some of the worst and garish colors I’ve ever seen. Here, take a look:

I’m sorry if you puked on yourself, but you can blame Hasbro in the ’90s for that. I saw that this vehicle had potential under those ugly colors, so I took it upon myself to paint it a bit to give it a better look. Sorry, I don’t have any pictures so far, but so far so good. It already looks a million times better and I haven’t even put it back together. After I clear coat it, I think I’ll post some pictures.

Of course, the big problem with this is that it lacks stickers now and nobody does repro stickers for such an unpopular vehicle. I figure I’ll pick up some stickers from other vehicles and use them, because I think it will fit more of the feel I’m going for anyway. I emailed the “Mexican guy” everyone goes to for most of these sorts of things and so far no email back. Hopefully, he doesn’t think I’m some sort of secret agent or something.

I’ve found this project really fun. It’s almost got me wanting to buy more Parasites to repaint, to at least give these ugly things a second chance at life.

Image from: YoJoe.com

Well, I went on a big hunt on Monday and managed to find one store in Green Bay that had Joes. I’d nearly given up hope, because I went to two Wal-Marts, Toys R Us, and another Target before I finally found it a few of the single carded figures at what I like to call my, “Magic Target.” I should have just gone there first.

Anyway, I’m curious to find out what you Toy Bendenites picked up so far out of the G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra line. Let me know in the comments. Or if you passed on anything, I’d like to hear that too.

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Having fallen in love with G.I. Joes again a few years ago and finding The Ultimate Guide to G.I. Joe an indispensable tool for picking up stuff off of eBay and at comic/toy shows, I think it’s fair to say I was damned excited about the prospect of owning Volume 2. Now that it’s in my sweaty nerd hands, let’s see if it was worth the wait.

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ATTENTION: This contest is over. Thanks for your interest!

Thanks to the fine people at Krause Publishing, I snagged a copy of The Ultimate Guide to G.I. Joe 1982-1994 to give away to one fine Toy Bender fan (or ToyBendinite as you often refer to yourselves at the chapter meetings). That’s right, true believers! You could get your very own copy of the premier G.I. Joe collecting by Mark Bellomo. That’s a 26.99 value for free! I’ll be giving my impressions of the book soon, but here’s the quick and dirty version if you’re on the fence about entering the contest: It’s great and you should have it.

There are three ways to qualify:

1. Post a comment below stating what G.I. Joe figure or vehicle is your favorite toy from the line and why. Include your real email so I can get your address if you win.

2. Become a fan of the Toy Bender Facebook page.

3. Follow me on Twitter.

Each of the above items will give you an entry into the contest, so that’s up to three entries! If you already follow me on Twitter and/or are a fan on Facebook, send me a message to WinBigPrizesWinBigMoney@gmail.com telling me who you are so I can give you credit (sometimes nicknames don’t match up, so I can’t remember who is who).

One random person will win themselves a copy of the book! Winner will be announced July 17th.

Thanks again to Krause Publications, publishers of fine hobby books and magazines. They’re also located in Wisconsin like I am now, so Wisconsin pride… or whatever.

A special thanks goes out to Mr. Bellomo.

While cruising the G.I. Joe message boards I noticed that there’s a lot of fans that don’t seem to like many of the G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra toys because they are based on what looks like a shitty movie and many of the figures don’t fit into their idea of a Joe universe. At first I didn’t think I’d buy any of the non-old school inspired Joe figures, but I’m warming up a bit to some of them. I must admit however, that it’s not just because they all look pretty cool. It’s been such a long Joe dry spell that I’d pretty much buy anything right now. My new strategy is that if it looks like it fits in with my other figures and it’s cool, then I’m getting it unless it’s highly overpriced like the Marvel Universe line.

Here are some of the figures I’m looking forward to:

1. General Hawk - If you don’t want a Dennis Quaid action figure, you’re a Communist. This movie now has allowed us to have a Mike Brody from Jaws 3D. Or the dad from Yours, Mine, and Ours. You’re choice.

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Hey, hey! It’s been a really long time since there was anything worthwhile to report from G.I. Joe and now there are a couple of things to report. Okay, it’s not world shattering news or anything, but let’s Joe up this joint a bit. It reeks too much of Star Wars nerd and nobody needs that… nobody.

G.I. Joe Monopoly: I kind of want this and I don’t know why. I already own way too many copies of Monopoly already. What I dig about this version of the classic board game is that it’s not based on the movie, it’s got the classic 80s versions of the characters right on the box.

The G.I. Joe video game that’s based on the movie kind of sucks: Okay, it might not be completely terrible, but is anyone surprised that it’s not the greatest thing ever? I’m just holding out hope that it won’t totally blow, but even that might be asking a little too much.

The Ultimate Guide to G.I. Joe 2nd Edition is shipping: I found the first book to be an indispensable tool when I started collecting Joes again. I’ve heard a lot of promises that this version has much better images with lots of updated info. Perhaps if I was sent a review copy I could let my legions of fans know this is true?

You know, back when I decided to revive this blog I never thought I’d have so many “Hey, look what I bought” posts in short amount of time, but thems the breaks. Coming back to the Midwest has had it’s benefits for toy collecting. Northern California was a dead zone for me, so it was nice to return to a land where scalpers aren’t as big of a problem and figure swapping is a relatively unknown phenomena.

On a recent trip I decided to stop at what I like to call the “Magic Target”. The Magic Target has offered up plenty of great prizes over the years. This stop was no exception, because I finally got my hands on the G.I. Joe Sting Raider (a.k.a. Water Moccasin). I’ve been wanting this thing forever and I’ve never spotted it before, which isn’t any kind of surprise considering how crappy the hunting was for me.

The Sting Raider is every bit as cool as I hoped it would be. It’s big enough to fit a few figures, which is always a plus when it comes to my vehicle purchases. Another welcome feature is the extra storage spaces and removable engine cowl for “posing” figures in situations with mechanical difficulty. The movable fan and small torpedo are just icing on the cake. I didn’t need another Copperhead figure, but it’s nice that I have yet another addition to my growing collection of Python Patrol Cobras. Now if only I could get a Python Patrol Sting Raider…

Anyway, any thought I have about the Sting Raider is completely overruled by this video by Last Best Angry Man.

Out of all the characters we’ve seen from the upcoming live action G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra flick, the missing key figure was Cobra Commander himself. Well, here he is:

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As much as I have a huge man-crush on Christopher Eccleston, I was really hoping that he’d show up in G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra in a full on metal Destro mask at some point. Well kids, it looks like he will be if the toys are any indication.

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Is it just me or does Storm Shadow look a lot like Steven Segal?

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Remember the awesome assortment of G.I. Joe vehicles that got canceled a few months ago? Well, now they are back and you can pre-order them at sites like Big Bad Toy Store (who generously donated to the Toys for Tots contest this year so perhaps you should pre-order from them?) In case you forgot about the assortment it includes:

Ghost Hawk with Lift Ticket
Arctic HISS with Arctic Driver
Claw Glider with Stratoviper & Flak Cannon with Outback
Stinger Jeep with Stinger Commander

It’s good to see these back again. With the live action movie, G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra, coming out it’s becoming clear that it pretty much ruined a lot of the momentum for the stuff that we really want. These wave 5 vehicles seemed to be the a victim to Hasbro’s new lust to push out mostly movie related merchandise.

Personally, if I had the means I’d seriously consider buying all of these. The only one that seems to be missing is the Water Moccasin. Did that come out already? I feel like such a moron, but the G.I. Joe supply sucks so bad around here that I never know what’s actually hit shelves or not.

Side Note: On the rare occasion that I could find new stuff, I spotted the Pilot Destro/Shockwave comic two pack at Wal-Mart yesterday. Hot damn, it took a lot of willpower to put that puppy down. The only thing that saved me was focusing on how dumb pilot Destro is.