Toy Bender

And that, my friends, is the world’s fastest talking man and one of his many pitches for Micro Machines. When I was a kid, I never really got into Micro Machines. My cousins went nuts for the things, but I couldn’t really get into the whole owning tiny cars and trucks thing. I think part of the problem was that I enjoyed telling stories in my play time and I really couldn’t do that with miniature cars and trucks. All I could do with them was, “Vrroom Vroom look at me go!” when I was creating epic stories with my 3 3/4ths scale figures that would make J.R.R. Tolkien weep tears bitter jealousy.

I also kind of didn’t like the commercials, because the fast talking thing is kind of annoying.

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I get email news updates from a couple of online stores and while browsing through the latest mailing from Brian’s Toys (one of the fine sponsors of last year’s Joes for Tots contest), I saw that there was going to be an Ewok themed battle pack. Well feast your eyes on this beauty:

What? One Ewok!? Granted he’s got a flying rig there, but one Ewok? And two other dudes? That’s like two and a half figures total! I was suitably upset and wrote this on Twitter:

Paul_Rudolph Thanks to @brianstoys I now know there’s an Ewok battle pack that comes with 1 ewok. Woah, Hasbro way to be generous with the ewoks.

Seriously, this doesn’t even qualify as a battle pack. I know times are tough and they’ve moved from giving us five figures to four or three and a neat pack in, but come on already. This is two and a half figures and a piece of plastic that’s been released several times already.

Yeah, yeah, I know I shouldn’t care so much about an Ewok, but awhile back I made the commitment to myself to rebuild my vintage Ewok village to be faster, stronger, and all of that. I need as many Ewoks that I can get my hands on to populate the thing and you’d think an “Ewok Battle Pack” would basically take care of my needs. Hell, they’ve packed two Ewoks on a single card, so you’d think that even now that they are down to four normal figures that they could stuff at least four Ewoks in there plus a bonus into an “Ewok Battle Pack”.

At least this gave me a reason to break any kind of record for the number of times “Ewok” was mentioned in a single post on the internet.

Marvel Universe wave five info is out and it’s a bit underwhelming overall. Fans of Marvel Comics super heroes will be able to finally get their hands on another villain in the classic looking Electro. I realize there’s a lot of heroes that people want, but why the huge lack of villains? More villains please!

Out of all the figures int his wave I would like to get my hands on a Guardian. I know nothing about him, but I always really dug the Canadian costumes that about four heroes have variations of. Other than that, I really don’t need a modern Sub-Mariner, a refill of Spider-Man, or a repaint of Iron Man. In fact, the repaint bothers me because when I saw that there was going to be a Silver Centurion Iron Man I didn’t think he was going to be a lazy repaint. I want the Silver Centurion Iron Man, not that horrid looking current armor in any form.

Thanks to: Marvelous News

I hate to keep writing about my collection of toys and everything related to it, but please bear with me. This is the first time I’ve had all this stuff together in years. Anyway, as I’m digging through everything I discovered to my horror that I have way too many Millennium Falcons. Check this out:

That’s three on the right which are from the classic variety and this is not counting my vintage Falcon that is missing many pieces and is in storage. Then to the left is the big ass Falcon that I was so happy to get last year. How does one end up with three essentially identical toys? Well the first one was the one of the bottom that I purchased way back in the day simply because I could. Since I was strictly a MOC collector it’s remained in the box ever since. The one above that was purchased at discount at a convention because the box sucked. I figured that I could open it up and enjoy it. The final Falcon on the top there was a gift from my parents who saw it at Sam’s Club and got it for me for Christmas. It’s actually my favorite boxed version, because I think it looks neat with the extra characters on top there. I guess that now I’ll have to add two more toys to the sell pile.

Does anyone else have this problem? I mean, do you ever come across a bunch of stuff you realized you didn’t have and even worse, end up with doubles or triples?

I’m no Captain Planet and I hate the new trend to label everything “green”, but I don’t think our society should needlessly waste resources. There always is a bit of talk surrounding toys and their packaging in this regard, due to the fact that some toys create a lot of garbage. I don’t normally think about this issue, but I recently got a hold of of my first Star Wars Evolutions pack* and was pretty much disgusted with the amount of waste. First though, let’s take a look at the package before opening:

Not a bad presentation, but what always bothered me a bit was the size of the box. It’s incredibly long for only the figures. There’s a little note on the box showing that the big square to the left contains additional accessories. I figured with the size of that square you must get some neat stuff.

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Well by popular demand, I present the Toy Bender dealer booth. Imagine you’re in a large show floor packed with aisles of cardboard tables full of toys. The stench of B.O. in the air. In the midst of all these tables is mine. There’s mostly Star Wars stuff with a couple of random things positioned nicely on top of an old Empire Strikes Back bed sheet. I’m stuffing my face full of nachos. My wife is wearing a low cut top to attract more nerds to buy my stuff. Okay, I think the scene is now set.

The items below might not be all of the things I’ll have for sale. There’s quite a few low cost items that may go to actual children. Crazy, I know! I’m also digging through things and making hard decisions over the next few weeks, so if I add more I’ll update.

Please let me know of your interest at: Paul.toybender@gmail.com for anything you see here you like. Shipping will be as low as possible and based on where you live and if you want boxed items loose, so ask me if you want an idea. Also, if you don’t think a price is fair, make me an offer! That’s what you do at conventions! So really, I don’t want to hear if something is too expensive.

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Ahh there are some very simple things in life that bring me joy and this custom Danger Mouse Lego creation is one of them. The car by Louise Dade looks great and those mini-figures (made by Louise’s Mom of all people) look perfect as Danger Mouse and Penfold. I really wish this could be purchased in stores.

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During my cross country trip I couldn’t help stopping at a couple of stores that were near our hotel pit stops. I’ve been trying to remove myself from collecting mainly due to lack of funds, but I couldn’t stop myself from looking occasionally. A few times I got away without a purchase, but I did find myself a Ms. Marvel that just had to come home with me, but back to my main point. One store I thought I’d check out when I hit Illinois was Shopko. In case you’re not familiar, Shopko is a retail store based out of Green Bay that has been a staple of the Midwestern retail scene for years. However, they have never really been able to keep up with the likes of Target or Wal-Mart. They’ve always been a bit higher priced when it comes to toys, so sometimes you can find older figures you might have missed out on if you’re willing to drop a few dollars more. I was hoping to find something old at maybe a dollar or two more than their competition, but instead I found that all of their Wolverine Origins, Star Wars, and G.I. Joe figures were thirteen dollars. Thirteen dollars! That’s at least five dollars more than the highest price I have seen at any other store.

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It’s Friday and if you can only make it through one more soul crushing day, you have two sweet days of freedom before it all starts over again. This calls for a celebration and some links and random thoughts.

Item: I’m about to beat whoever decided to put NCIS on all the time on USA. My wife won’t stop watching it. It seriously is draining my will to live.

Item: I never thought this would happen to me, but I’m kind of burned out on video games. Hopefully this situation will rectify itself this weekend. Who needs to be productive when there are video games to be played?

Item: As much as I love Twin Peaks, this is God damned disturbing.

Item: Here’s a new Star Wars figure. Hurray, I suppose. Yeah, I feel guilty for not covering Star Wars as much as I used to.

Item: If you ever murder me, could you pleas not put my body in a barrel full of acid? That would be nice. Also, I need to stop watching shows about murder.

Item: Poe makes a good point about the Corner Store Comics credit card scam.

Item: Great White Snark is giving away the two disc DVD of Punisher: War Zone, if you’re interested. I prefer the Thomas Jane Punisher film. In fact, I love that Punisher film. So there!

Item: I almost forgot. I want to welcome any and all new readers. I’ve noticed a few new names popping up in the comments section. Keep it up, you rule!

Hey kids, it’s Friday already! My how time flies… and how it sometimes slows to a painful crawl. It’s time again for some thoughts and neat-o links. Enjoy!

Item: Wow, having a job with extremely limited internet access sucks. I’m so behind on everything! I’m hoping I can figure out a schedule so I can keep providing fantastic posts for you kids. And yeah this also affects the amount of responses I can make to comments, so if I don’t respond to you in the comments I’m really sorry.

Item: Speaking of internet access, can anyone recommend a laptop in the 500 dollar price range, preferably one that could be purchased at Best Buy?

Item: I remember when I used to put effort into posts. Poe Ghostal has been on fire these last couple of days with this one on action figure stands and this one on the top ten mail-Away figures. I fear this young upstart might be contending for the title of Best Toy Blog ever, which of course I’ve held uncontested.

Item: As long as we are on the subject of top ten lists, this is funny. It’s, “The Top Ten Ways I Want to Die.”

Item: Well, well it looks like Lando the Pimp agrees with me.

Item: As Old Man Musings points out, the registrations for hotels at the San Diego Comic con have opened. Get your room now, fool!

The winner of the fans choice figures top five is out and I have to say that I’m really disappointed in everyone who voted, but first here’s the list:

#1 – Archangel

#2 – Winter Soldier

#3 – Havok

#4 – Mystique

#5 – Mary Jane Watson

First of all, they were going to make Mystique, Archangel, and Winter Soldier anyway. The point behind these things is that it’s a chance to get figures they wouldn’t otherwise make. Secondly, Mary Jane Watson? Who wants a figure of the completely worthless Mary Jane Watson? I think the only purpose she could serve is if I swapped her head with another figure to make her into a generic civilian. Here is where I say the unthinkable, so prepare yourselves: I’m glad they retconned the Mary Jane Watson marriage out of Spider-Man comics.

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As much as I have a huge man-crush on Christopher Eccleston, I was really hoping that he’d show up in G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra in a full on metal Destro mask at some point. Well kids, it looks like he will be if the toys are any indication.

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And… just when I was beginning to thing I had nothing toy related to write about today, in comes this fantastic custom set of Lego mini-figures made to look exactly like the crew from Watchmen. The weakest link here is Rorschach who could have used a custom painted head, but I believe the point of this set was to try do make the figures as close to the characters without doing a lot of custom work.

I can’t think of that many Lego sets you could make using Watchmen figures aside from Nite Owl’s ship and his lair. I suppose you could do the Ozymandias winter getaway.

Anyway, some of you might be wondering why I haven’t posted my Watchmen thoughts yet. I haven’t done so for a couple of reasons. The first is that everyone else did already and so I didn’t see a point. Another is that nobody asked, but in case you are wondering I did like it. I liked it a lot. There? You happy now?!

Side Note: You want to get your blood boiling? You really need to read this review, which pretty much misses the entire point of the film (and consequently the book if the reviewer had read it). Here’s my favorite quote:

And Ronald Reagan is thinking of running for President in 1988. Wow, isn’t that cool that they got it wrong on purpose? I’m so amazed at this “high-brow art” of deliberately getting dates and timelines wrong, you know, just to be “artistic,” and get the drooling of the critics. That is sooooo genius. Like way totally cool.

Oh wait, this one is better:

If you see it yourself, you’re also probably a moron and a vapid, indecent human being.

Even if you didn’t like the movie, the idiocy here should really piss you off.

Side, Side Note: Sometimes when I hear Rorschach’s name I think of Horshack from Welcome Back Kotter. Man, that book and movie would have been a hell of a lot different if you swapped those two out.

Thanks to: Brothers Brick

It’s the return of another old feature this week! The return isn’t due to the fact that I’m nostalgic to sift my way through dozens of nerdy questions for you, but because I really couldn’t think of what else to do today. Hopefully, someone still digs these things.

Galactic Hunter asks a question about the Big Millennium Falcon:

Galactic Hunter: We know that the BMF (Big Millennium Falcon) is getting cleared out at some stores as part of the post-Holiday clear-out, but it is an open stock item that will continue to ship, right? Are there any upgrades planned for this piece in the foreseeable future?

HASBRO: Wal-Mart and Target have taken to clearance out the Millennium Falcon since they do not have a home on the latest planogram. As of now, it’s likely that Toys ‘R Us in the U.S. will carry another run of them in the Fall in the new red/white packaging. There will be no upgrades to the Millennium Falcon if it does ship again; it’s likely that this version will be the signature version for some years. The good news is that the large vehicle program was indeed a success and we look forward to the first Turbo Tanks hitting shelves around August 1.

Awesome, just in time for me to not be able to buy them. What’s nice though it’s that Hasbro is finally admitting that the big vehicles of last year were a success. It took them awhile to confirm it. If they don’t do as well this year, I hope they factor in the economy.

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Millionaire Playboy recently posted an article about a few of Mattel’s offerings in the Infinite Crisis series of it’s 3 3/4ths scale figures. There’s not a whole lot of new info, except that the three pack that used to consist of Wondergirl, Supergirl, and Superman will now switch out Superman for Bizarro.

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