Toy Bender

I’d like to introduce a guest post today by a fellow who travels the internet wastes answering to the name of Esbat. Who’s Esbat you ask? He’s a maniac that runs Fugitives From Reality. He’s also the guy that said, “Hey, if you’re too lazy to write about ToyFare magazine, I’ll do it.”

Ah ha, at last I now have wrested control of this house of ill-bloggery from the hands of secret arch-foe, Paul. Yes, oh Tenric, your time has come.

*ahem*

Well Paul has asked I, Esbat, fellow reader and commenter on this site with the bending of toys to do a guest review of the current issue of Toyfare #139: The Year of G.I. Joe. This means that I must actually talk about G.I. Joe to which in my entire life have only owned 4 Joes and I believe a Snowcat vehicle. I currently only own a Medi-Viper who lays jumbled in with my box o’ Star Wars troopers.

So lets get on with this nickel dog and pony show, shall we?

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So I decided to do it another month if not for a chance to talk about Naked Jonathan Frakes.

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Holy crap, it’s been a long time since I did one of these. I guess a case of laziness combined with the fact I’m not sure how many people read these posts caused there to be a large skippage. However, I picked up a copy of the latest ToyFare a few weeks ago and thought I’d give one of these a shot again. Please let me know what you think, the future of This Month in ToyFare depends on it!

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The original look at the greatest non-adult toy magazine around is back this month with a look at issue #134. I’ve learned an important lesson this month. ToyFare is not only good for pooping related reading, but it is is a great thing to stare at while using the elliptical machine. It’s almost good as a copy of Jugs and only slightly more family friendly.

Okay, let’s do this!

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That’s right kids, This Month in ToyFare is back! After a delay of caused by a lack of funds and website downtime, the original look at the world’s greatest toy (and pop culture) magazine continues with a look at issue 133. Let’s do this!

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Time for another look at ToyFare! I bet all three of you could hardly wait. Crack open your issue, we’re going for a metaphorical ride!

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We have a VERY special This Month In ToyFare for a particular reason, but I’m not giving up just what it is right now. You’ll have to read the rest of this post. Sadly though, the issue marks Justin “Willy Wampa” Aclin’s last issue as the editor we’ve all come to know and love. He’s moved on to other things, but he’ll still be missed from the magazine.

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This month I’ll continue our look at the mighty toy collecting magazine known as ToyFare, because you demanded it! And by you, I mean Tripper McGee. Oh yeah, her and whoever strayed here by accident looking for Popeye porn (and by that I mean Esbat). Crack open your issues of ToyFare, because we’re going for a ride!

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Wow, talk about falling behind on my monthly dose of ToyFare. What’s funny about this edition is that I couldn’t find it at my local comic shop or in the bookstore I enjoy frequenting, until I went back this week and there’s a lone copy? Where’d it come from? Probably God… or it was originally hidden behind some Japanophile magazines like The Fat White Guy’s Guide to Manga Monthly.

Grab your issue of ToyFare and play along!

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Yes, I know. I missed an issue of ToyFare. It wasn’t entirely my fault though. The combination of moving, not having the internet, and being to lazy to scan the cover all played a part in the last “This Month in ToyFare”. Now that we’re back on track though, let’s get rocking.

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This month’s ToyFare features the animated style Han Solo statue on the front. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it makes no sense to me to make an animated style statue from an animated series that doesn’t exist at all, so stop taunting me with all these statues already. I get it, Han Solo would look awesome in a cartoon, but there isn’t one. What a metaphorical cock tease. (Not your fault ToyFare, it’s society’s)

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That cover is correct, fellow toy lovers. It’s the 10th anniversary of ToyFare. Well, Happy Birthday ToyFare and thanks for making me feel really old. I still remembering picking up my first few ToyFares during my senior year of high school and thinking they were the greatest thing ever. Of course back then girls didn’t talk to me, so it wasn’t much of a competition.

Now, onto my views!

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Yes, I’m a tad late again for This Month in ToyFare. I really need to get a normal job with normal hours or at least one that allows me to obsess over ToyFare in a more timely manner. This whole salaried slave thing isn’t so hot right now.

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Oh yeah, it’s ToyFare in your face!

This ToyFare is Transformer heavy and for a damn good reason, the live action movie is coming out next month! How could ToyFare not squeeze out every last bit of Transformers juice before Micheal Bay either destroys the franchise or makes us love it even more?

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What? It’s been a month already since the last This Month in ToyFare? Wow, how time flies. I realize that I’m super late with this one, but my work has been notched up from not much to do to uber-insane. Still, I managed to slog it through and lived to bring you your monthly dose of ToyFare impressions. Enjoy!

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