Toy Bender

The following article originally appeared on the Wizard Universe website. Since they purged their archives, I’m mirroring it here.

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All right I know some of you have a big problem with revealing characters that will be in Transformers, but too bad. This is a blog dealing with pop culture and toys and if you want to avoid super minor spoilers you should probably stick to knitting blogs until the movie comes out. However I will respect the other part of the spoilery Jetfire stuff, so that’s after the break.

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There’s more complaining to be had about the Transformers movie, this time it’s been proven that Megatron is in the sequel and he is a crazy alien looking tank:

I wasn’t a super huge fan of the first Transformers flick, although it did turn out much better than I thought it would and in the end I found it enjoyable. Still, I detest the movie style Transformers. The one lone exception is Megatron. The fact he looked so alien really worked to make him look like a total bad ass. The fact that he’s going to be a crazy looking tank in this new film doesn’t bother me at all. It actually fits his character who is a robot that doesn’t feel the need to disguise himself as an Earth vehicle. He doesn’t have to either, he’s friggen Megatron!

Thanks to: Toplessrobot.com

Yeah, I realize everyone has seen this thing by now, but I feel like it’s my duty to post a toy related movie spot on this toy related blog after I had posted the G.I. Joe one. So here it is, the 30 second Super Bowl ad for Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen:

I find this ad slightly less stimulating than the G.I. Joe ad mostly because it’s kind of stuff we’ve seen before already. There’s big robots that sort of look like they Transform, but don’t resemble what I think of as “Transformers.” There’s also lots of explosions. I guess you could argue that the Joe stuff was all done before, but at least it had Christopher Eccleston, something which seems to be clearly lacking in Transformers 2. The only thing that really gets my nerdy rage up a bit is that stupid giant wheel robot. What’s with that?

I came to a horrible realization last night that I’ve tried to supress… I’m completely indifferent to Transformers figures. I’m both stunned and amazed that when I go into a toy aisle, I barely even give Transformers a second glance and I really don’t pay attention to Transformers news. For some reason this bothers me, not only because I run a toy blog where I must write about the toys and Transformers is a huge brand, but also as a person who wonders if I’m betraying my childhood self who had been obsessed with the Transforming ‘bots.

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Big Bad Toy Store stocks a lot of cool ass stuff and they were both generous and super nice to donate two fifty dollar gift credits to the big Toys for Tot contest. Let’s take a look at some of the cool stuff I’ve found on their site:

Optimus Prime’s Little Buddy

MP Optimus Prime Roller. Seriously, this is so bad ass that it hurts me to look at it. If you’re lucky enough to have the MP Optimus Prime and trailer combo, you’d be a fool not to buy the Roller parts to go with it. A bloody fool!

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If you collect vintage toys you’ve no doubt run into the issue of yellowed toys due to the plastic used in them changing over time. It’s a scourge that hits many lines from Star Wars to Transformers and there’s never been a sure fire way to get rid of it.

It looks like the riddle has finally been solved. Astute reader PJ has sent me a a forum link that shows the solution, it’s a 30% Hydrogen peroxide solution. It’s really quite amazing. The only downside is the pictures are so large that they may just crash your computer if it is as pathetic as it is mine, so here’s a sample of the fellow who investigated if this stuff would work:

Before:

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If you think you’ve seen cool T-shirts and you haven’t been to 80sTees.com, you’re a damned fool. Let’s take a look at some of the awesome found on 80sTees.com, a generous sponsor to the Joes for Tots contest.

Superman: Kiss Me I Have Superpowers:

If I won the contest, I’d buy this shirt and put a Post-it note with an arrow pointing down on the bottom, which is the universal sign for, “In my pants.” I’m all class.

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Update: The Blogging Gods have smiled upon me today. Not only did I get a link from Great White Snark, but Topless Robot has linked to this post. Thank you both and welcome visitors from those sites.

Edit 2: Wow, I also got a link from Neat-O-Rama! Super sweet, I love that blog. Thanks for stopping by Neat-O-Rama fans!

Who asked for this Mickey Mouse Transformer? I know I certainly didn’t. On my my big old list of wants, a Disney based toy is nowhere to be found and they really can’t make one more appealing by dressing them up as Optimus Prime.

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The first Transformer toy that’s created a big splash in awhile is the upcoming Master Piece Grimlock. There’s some new pictures over on Toy News International that you might want to check out to see Grimlock in more detail.

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About the only toy news to cause a big stir in the last couple of weeks is the revelation that Takara is going to make a Masterpiece Grimlock Transformer toy.

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Fairly recently a Fwoosh.com poster made one of the coolest Transformers customs of all time. Combine one concept that’s cool, transforming robots, and one that’s ultra cool, a talking super car, and you get a Transformer named K.I.T.T.

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I don’t normally like to take a dump on other collectors, especially when they didn’t do anything to me (although I’m sure there’s at least one person who would think differently), but I recently ran across a website that features A) Some of the coolest custom paint apps I’ve ever seen on a Transformer and B) Some of the worst web design I’ve ever encountered.

I urge you to go check out the Devastator and I also challenge you to try to navigate your way around that flash enabled nightmare. Be especially careful f you have a slow connection the site is packed with so much junk to load at once that it may bring your sad connection to it’s knees from the Flash masturbation. Still, the stuff that you’ll find there is so insanely cool that it’s worth attempting to make your way around. Seriously, it’s totally Airwolf.

And before you guys take a knock at some of the design decisions around this blog, need I remind you that I’m only the writer monkey?

Reading through Mark Bellomo’s Transformers Identification and Price Guide made me nostalgic for my younger days of loving Transformers. I never had a lot of Transformers, but I had some damn good ones. Still there was one Transformer that was my favorite that I never got, despite desperately wanting him. It was Soundwave, the most competent and coolest of the G1 Decepticons.

What’s funny is that I’m not sure if I actually told my parents how bad I wanted him. In fact, I’m pretty sure I never even mentioned him. I guess that’s the danger when you make your kid think that Santa is real and that he knows everything, your child might just skip the middle man and try to go right to the source. Hell, I remember talking to my friend Jeremy about it and he said that one time that he wanted a toy for Christmas he wished really hard and got it. After I heard that I wished so hard I nearly blew my brain muscle, but I still didn’t get him from that bearded fat man.

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I can’t say that I’m a huge Transformers fan, in fact I really don’t give a damn about most new Transfomers merchandise and I practically have zero interest in collecting the vintage toys. However, I do have very fond memories of the toys from my youth so I do have a soft spot in my heart for Transformers. That’s why I initially started looking at Bellomo’s Transformers Identification and Price Guide, for a quick trip back while in the book store and nothing more. A funny thing happened though, just like in Bellomo’s G.I. Joe guide, The Ultimate Guide to G.I. Joe 1982-1994, I became captivated by the tidbits of info he was dropping so I broke down and picked up the book.

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