The Playskool (i.e. Hasbro) Rose Petal Cottage is a set for little girls that contains a lot of things like a kitchen, washer/dryer, and a baby basket. The girl in the commercial looks like she is having fun with all her great play toys, but is she really? What may seem like an innocent playtime activity is this girl being subjected to the brainwashing of a sexist society that wants to keep women barefoot and pregnant… or something.
Updated: New items added! Blame Esbat!
With the memory this last Halloween fading and it’s crappiest candy on mega-discount, it’s about time to start thinking about the next major holiday. No, not Thanksgiving. That’s for losers. I’m talking about the big Papa of all delicious holidays, my birthday and after that the slightly less cool holiday called Christmas. It’s high time for my family and friends (ahem, you) to start thinking about what you’re going to give me for a gift for both holy days (or a tribute as it would be more accurately described).
For the purposes of this blog, I’ve decided to limit my wish list to toys. To make things easier for you to find the items I want, I picked toys that are more easily found in stores than items like my vintage wants that would require some hunting and extra effort. You can’t say that I’m not thinking about your best interests here. Seriously, it would be a little much to ask for a gift like the Terrordrome, although it certainly would not be undeserved.
The first Transformer toy that’s created a big splash in awhile is the upcoming Master Piece Grimlock. There’s some new pictures over on Toy News International that you might want to check out to see Grimlock in more detail.
It’s another super lazy Friday post! Happy Halloween to all the pagans out there, your life of sin is sending you to the fiery pits of Hell. Will all that candy corn be worth it then, heathens? Anyway, in the spirit of laziness, this Best of Toy Bender looks back on a list I did awhile back, The Top Toy Ads with Celebrity Guest Stars.
If you haven’t seen it before, it’s worth checking out to see few celebs like Seth Green and Jodi Foster hawking toys. Here’s the celebrity nerd (and I mean that in the utmost respect) Seth Green in his commercial:
Brilliant.
Awhile back I had covered a G.I. Joe commercial from the 90s that had some live action Joe’s that featured some truly terrible martial arts action. This commercial doesn’t have as much live action “acting”, but there’s enough to give you at least a minor chuckle:
If the upcoming movie isn’t any worse than this, I might be satisfied.
When you think big G.I. Joe vehicles, the USS Flagg immediately springs to mind, but there doesn’t seem to be enough love for the Defiant launch complex:
I just saw this one The Soup and I couldn’t help but sharing. I realize the subject matter may not appeal to the readership here, being that it’s a baby doll and not a radical action figure. Bear with me though, it’s good if you actually click on the link. I mean seriously, how can you not think this is hilarious? Not only is it a baby doll with a wiener, but it will also piss in your face if you tickle it. There’s been dolls that have been known for their urinary prowess before, mostly notably Betsey Wetsy, but none so graphic or hilarious.
This toy commercial was fairly recently linked to on the Wizard Universe message boards and I couldn’t pass up putting it into a post.
Holy crap, it looks like the kids in this ad for Robostrux have seen the epitome of human achievement and may either A. kill themselves because there is nothing yet to live for or B. ascend to a higher level in the evolutionary cycle.
A recent forum posting has created a bit of a stir lately that I thought I’d share. On Hisstank.com, a prominent G.I. Joe toy message board, someone posted strong evidence that they bought three of the new big Hasbro Millennium Falcons on clearance for 32 dollars a piece.
Hey everyone, if there’s one thing that we need more of in our lives it’s Alf.
While on a search for toy commercials to write about I discovered one of the coolest toys that I never knew existed… a freaking talking Alf toy! Story Time Alf talks via cassette tapes much like the highly successful Teddy Ruxpin did. So yes, he’s just a rip off, but he’s about a million times more superior than Teddy Ruxpin. This is simply one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen.
I’ve got a couple of cool G.I. Joe items that I’d like to bring to your attention, albeit they aren’t toy related directly. The first is the full preview of the upcoming G.I. Joe animated series that was only seen at this summers conventions (If you haven’t seen it yet), G.I. Joe Resolute. Kapow!
Many people cite songs like Run DMC’s “Walk this Way” or Blondie’s “Rapture” as some of the hallmarks of the mainstream world’s acceptance of rap. I’d say it was really the appearance of rap in toy commercials. Take this He-Man commercial for example:
I almost feel my sanity slipping away when I hear that gravely voice associated with so much of my childhood rapping like old school is back in session. Why was rap used in a He-Man toy commercial? Why not, the kids love it! This video fits perfectly with the rapping Transformers commercials I posted awhile back.
As a toy, there’s not much to say here aside from the fact that a motorized spider named Spydor seems like the most logical choice of mount for a living skeleton faced man right after an armored purple panther.
As a service to my newer readers, I plan on periodically looking through the archives and dusting off some posts that I find particularly amusing that you might have not seen before. This time I’d like to point out a post where I looked at the toy commercials featuring celebrities. It’s by no means a complete list, but I think it truly does hit on some of the best including two that feature Jodi Foster.
By the way, if you know of any more toy related ads featuring celebrities that I might have missed please let me know. I’d like to do a sequel to that post if possible.
You might be wondering why I posted the above video. Well, I believe that everyone should think about the dangers of eating cheeseburgers while piloting space ships whenever they can.
For this installment of the highly infrequent and oft forgotten Boredom Breaker Sunday, there’s a toy related video that’s been making the rounds on the interwebs lately and it’s quite fantastic. In fact, it’s goddamn cool. It’s a music video by a band called Zombie Zombie and it’s an homage to John Carpenter’s version of The Thing using G.I. Joe figures. I say homage, because it isn’t a direct rip of the film using Joes, rather it’s a new story of sorts.
The black suited version (blue suit was already gone at the con) of Cobra Commander with podium is now available to purchase at HasbroToyShop.com… but it’s probably gone by the time you read this. Good luck!
The other exclusives are also available as well if you’re interested:
Combat Heroes Snake Eyes & Timber
My Little Pony (For the ladies or gay fellas)
Darth Vader with Holographic Emperor
There’s also some Mighty Muggs, but I don’t condone that sort of purchase so you’ll have to find them yourself. Plus, Hasbro Toy Shop is running slower than molasses with everyone rushing to purchase their toys.
UPDATE: Cobra Commander is now gone and it looks like they did have the blue one briefly. Crap!
Update 2: Cobra Commander went up again for a few minutes, but I think he’s gone now. Some other items became available again as well. Where are these figures coming from? Some are guessing canceled orders.
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