Toy Bender

Some of the craziest auctions I’ve seen on eBay (that are toy related) often come from the Star Wars section there. This auction is perhaps one of the craziest. It’s for a “Hard Body” Storm Trooper, and much to my chagrin it’s not a weightlifter toy with a Stormtrooper head. No, this auction is for a really crappy vintage Stormtrooper that is trying to be passed off, and very poorly, as something other than total piece of crap.

Take a look at the above picture. Would you pay a starting bid of 39.99 for it? Or how about snapping it up for the mere price of 89.99? No? Well according to the seller, it’s a priceless item:

But this is not just any 1977 Stormtrooper action figure toy. It’s one of the most highly coveted figures from the series because so few were ever made like this. It is known as the Hard Body Stormtrooper. The head and torso are connected and made of a harder, heavier, thicker plastic and a different color than the rest of the figure, which has the traditional plastic and usual white Stormtrooper color on the legs and arms. The head and torso are a darker, yellowed off white color, noticeably different from rest of figure.

I actually saw this first on a Star Wars collectors message board and they had no idea what a “hard body Stormtrooper” is supposed to be. I’ve looked on Google and have found nothing either, so I call shenanigans. Regardless of intention, this auction is great simply for the chunk of text trying to pass this garbage off as something valuable:

This is completely sad since these are so few and far between. You don’t often see them being sold. Most of the people who have one will probably never part with it. So even though this one is wounded, it maintains its coveted position, based on rarity and supply/demand alone.

Yes, because even though the Stormtrooper is missing a God damned foot, I’m sure it’s highly sought after.

Even better, the seller goes into his (I’m going to go on a limb and say this is a guy) psychological trauma when it comes to collecting:

I have loved Star Wars since I was a kid and have built up quite an inventory of Star Wars collectibles, toys, promo items, limited editions, trading cards, autographs, fast food toys and packaging, cereal boxes, Pez dispensers….you get the idea. I could never part with everything, but I’ve come to realize that I don’t really need as much of this stuff as I always thought and insisted I did. It’s become a crazy, out of control, chaotic mass of objects that aren’t being fully appreciated and that are taking over too many parts of my living space. Time to let some of it go. So, if you are wanting to add to your chaotic mass of these kinds of things, keep in mind I will update my auction list daily or almost daily.

Looking at his other auctions I see quite a few autographed items. Judging by the quality of this auction and the honesty that seems to be lacking, I’d say stay away from them. Far, far away.

toy, toy collecting, eBay, G.I. Joe, auction, Star Wars, vintage, Stormtrooper, Kenner