Toy Bender

There’s really not much to this auction for a vintage Star Wars figure. Star Wars figure for sale, what could go wrong? How about a gigantic block of text that would make a lawyer cry. I dare you to read this and maintain your sanity:

YOU ARE LOOKING AT VINTAGE STAR WARS ANAKIN SKYWALKER ON A TRILOGO CARD IN NICE CONDITION!THIS RARE FIGURE CAME ORIGINALLY ONLY THREE WAYS-MAILAWAY OR YOU COULD GET HIM ON A TRILOGO CARD OR A POWER OF THE FORCE CARD-THIS IS THE MOST AFFORDABLE ORIGINAL VERSION FOR MOST COLLECTORS AS THE POTF CARDED ANAKIN FETCHES CLOSE TO $4000.00 IN NRMINT CONDITION!THIS ONE IS STILL PRICEY BUT DOES FEATURE SOME DEFECTS-FIRST THE BUBBLE IS BROKEN IN A SMALL SECTION AT THE BOTTOM-FIGURE DOES NOT COME OUT AND THE SECTION IS THERE AND WILL BE INCLUDED WITH THE FIGURE,THERE ARE A FEW SMALL CREASES IN VARIOUS SPOTS ON THE CARD-TOP LEFT CORNER-ONE NEAR THE PUNCH, AND SOME SMALL SPIDERWEB VEINS ON THE BACK-BUT NONEN ARE HUGE CREASES AND ARE TOLERABLE-THE BUBBLE IS NICE AND CLEAR AND OTHER THAN THE SMALL SECTION-IS ACTUALLY VERY NICE-THE CARD ITSELF(OTHER THAN TH FEW SMALL CREASES) IS ACTUALLY DECENT AND RETINAS BETTER THAN 86% OF ORIGINAL FACTORY GLOSS WITH EXCELLENT BRIGHT COLORS THE CARD ITSELF ACTUALLY LAYS ALMOST FLAT WITH SOME EXCEPTION !THE PICTURE IS NICE AND AGAIN THIS IS A TRILOGO CARDED FIGURE-WHICH IS VERY RARE-THE LANGUAGES ON IT ARE FRENCH,SPANISH AND ENGLISH!THIS IS A 79 BACK CARD-BUT FEATURES TWO CHARACTERS BLACKED OUT BY THE COMPANY ITSELF-THIS WAS VERY COMMON FOR THESE FIGURES TO HAVE ON THEM AND IN NO WAY AFFECTS THE VALUE OF THE ITEM ITSELF!THIS IS AN ABSOLUTE MUST HAVE FOR VINTAGE AND NEW STARW ARS FANS AND COLLECTORS EVERYWHERE AND IS AN AMAZING DEAL!I HAVE ,SINCE I BOUGHT THIS FIGURE FOR MYSELF,BEEN ABLE TO REPLACE THIS FIGURE FOR MY COLLECTION WITH A BETTER CONDITION PIECE-SO I AM SELLING MY SPARE-SO THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO PICK UP THIS VERY VALUABLE FIGURE CARDED IN DECENT CONDITION FOR A NICE PRICE!DON’T LET IT SLIP BY YOU!THESE FIGURES TYPICALLY COMMAND TOP DOLLAR AND ARE FOR TRUE COLLECTORS ONLY!THIS IS AN EXCELLTN PIECE TO ADD TO YOUR COLLECTION OF WOULD BE PERFECT FOR HOLIDAY GIVING OR EVEN AS A SPECIAL TREAT FOR THAT GREAT REPORT CARD OR OTHER SPECIAL EVENT!AROUND HOLIDYA TIME-CARDED FIGURES LIKE THIS WILL COMMAND TOP DOLLAR-WHY WAIT AND PAY A PREMIUM PRICE?GRAB THIS FIGURE NOW AND AVOID THE RUSH!!CHECK OUT MY STORE-SHORTY’S COLLECTIBLES FOR MORE GREAT ITEMS AND THANKS FOR LOOKING!INTERNATIONL BIDDERS ARE ASKED TO CONTACT ME BEFORE BIDDING-FAILURE TO DO SO MAY RESULT IN CANCELLATION OF YOUR BID BEFORE OR AFTER AUCTION END!I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS ITEM WHEN IT LEAVES MY HANDS-SO SHIPPING INSUANCE IS REQUIRED FOR IT -SEE BELOW!OVERALL-THIS IS A REALLY GREAT ITEM-A NICE INVESTMENT TYPE ITEM AND COULD BE STASHED AWAY FOR LATER SALE !I MAKE NO CALAIM AS TO THE CONDITIO OF THIS ITEM-I DO NOT CLAIM ITEM IS IN MINT CONDITION AND IT IS SOLD AS IS-MAKE VERY SURE YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE BIDDING ON BEFORE YOU PLACE A BID ON THIS ITEM-IT IS AN ORIGINAL STAR WARS VINTAGE(1983) ANAKIN SKYWALKER TRILOGO CARDED FIGURE IN GOOD CONDITION-IT IS ALSO NONRETURNABLE AND THERE IS NO EXCEPTION TO THIS WHATSOEVER-YOU ARE BIDDING AT YOUR OWN RISK ON THIS ITEM-AGAIN,IT IS 100% AUTHENTIC AND ORIGINAL VINTAGE STAR WARS AND IS WELL WORTH BUYING OR BIDDING ON-BUT I MAKE NO CLAIM WHATSOEVER AS TO THE CONDITION OF ITEM NOR AM I RESPONSIBLE FOR SAID ITEM IF BIDDER DECIDES TO HAVE SAID ITEM”GRADED” PROFESSIONALLY-THIS IS SOMETHING DONE AT YOUR DISCRETION-NOT MINE AND I CAN SIMPLY GIVE ADVICE FOR THIS ITEM AND THAT IS IT-ITEM IS DESCRIBED TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE-IF SOMETHING IS MISSED OR NOT DESCRIBED PROPERLY-I APOLOGIZE-THIS IS WHY I WILL NOT ESTIMIATE ANY KIND OF A”GRADE” FOR ITEM IN DESCRIPTION-IF YOU DEMAND ITEMS IN TOP MINT CONDITION-PLEASE BID ELSEWHERE-AS THIS IS NOT A MINT CONDITION ITEM AND AGAIN ,I MAKE NO CLAIM THAT IT IS!GOOD LUCK AND ANY QUESTIONS,FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME-I ALSO HAVE ADDITIONL PICTURES FOR THIS GREAT FIGURE-I WILL REQUIRE A VALID EMAIL ADDRESS TO SEND THEM TO-I CAN NOT “SCAN” PICS TO YOU-SO PLEASE ,DON’T ASK ME TO DO THIS-SHIPPING PRICE IS NONNEGOTIABLE-SO PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR ITEM TO BE SHIPPED ANY OTHER WAY THAN STATED-IT WILL BE BOXED SECURELY AND SENT WITH DELIVERY CONFIRMATION AND SHIPPING INSURANCE!COMBINE SHIPPING AND SAVE MONEY!PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT THIS ITEM IS NOT RETURNABLE-IF THERE IS SOME PROBLEM DURING SHIPPING-THIS IS WHY I AM REQUIRING SHIPPING INSURANCE-YOU MUST TAKE IT UP WITH USPS-NOT ME-IF ITEM IS DAMAGED OR LOST AND BY BIDDING-YOU ARE AGREEING TO THE TERMS OF THIS AUCTION AND UNDERSTAND I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY LOSS,DAMAGE,OR THEFT THAT MAY OCCUR DURING SHIPPING-ONCE ITEM IS OUT OF MY HANDS-THAT’S GAME AND THE RESPONSIBILITY NOW SWITCHES TO USPS!TRACKING MUNBERS WILL BE AVAILABLE THREE DAYS AFTER PAYMENT IS MADE-ITEM SHOULD HAVE BEEN SENT BY THEN(NOT INCLUDING SUNDAY OR HOLIDAYS!) AND IT WILL BE AVAILABLE FOR YOU TO TRACK!GOOD LUCK AND READ THIS VERY VERY ACREFULLY-IF THERE SI SOMETHIGN YOU DO NOT AGREE WITH IN HERE-PLEASE DO NOT BID!TERMS AND SALE OF THIS ITEM ARE FINAL-WITH ABSOLUTELY NO EXCEPTIONS FOR ANY ONE AT ALL-SO UNDERSTAND THIS BEFORE YOU JUMP IN AND BID WITH 30 SECONDS LEFT TO GO IN THE AUCTION!YOU BID-YOU ARE AN ADULT AND ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR PAYMENT AND READING THIS DESCRIPTION-IF YOU DID NOT READ THIS BEFORE YOU PLACE A BID-THIS IS NOT MY PROBLEM-SO I STRONGLY RECOMEND YOU MAKE SURE YOU ARE VERY CLEAR AND I DISCOURAGE LAST MINUTE BIDDING BY PARTIES WHO DID NOT READ THIS DESCRIPTION IN IT’S ENTIRETY-ANY QUESTIONS AT ALL-PLEASE CONTACT ME FOR A PROMPT RESPONSE!MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU AND HAPPY BIDDING!BIDDER IS RESPONSIBLE FOR ADDING INSURANCE AT THE BOTTOM-FAILURE TO DO THIS AT CHECKOUT MAY RESULT IN CANCELLATION OF YOUR ORDER AND OFFER OF SAID ITEM TO NEXT BIDDER-INSURANCE IS REQUIRED-PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU ADD IT TO THE TOTAL WHEN YOU CHECKOUT!

Now I’ll just have to wait for the lawsuits to roll in now that I’ve caused massive brain damage to my readers by posting that.

toy, toy collecting, ebay, star wars