Happy Birthday Magic 8 Ball!

Wow, it’s hard to believe that the Magic 8 Ball has been around for 60 years. Who hasn’t trusted the advice of the Magic 8 Ball? I’ve never owned one myself, but the Magic 8 Ball was a trusted advisor when I worked at retail giant Wal-Mart. Whenever I needed some love advice (and I needed it often with the question, “Will I ever get a date?), I’d go right down the aisle where the Magic 8 Ball sat and consulted its wisdom with a few quick shakes. If it didn’t give me the answer I sought, I’d rephrase the question and ask again. If I still didn’t like the answer, at that point I knew it was fate. Some may call it cheating, but I call it fact checking!
Anyway, here are 8 facts that you may not know about the Magic 8 Ball:
1. The Magic 8 Ball has outsold the Magic 13 Ball by about 3000%
2. If you are a man and attempt to drink the fluid inside a Magic 8 Ball, you are daring to go to the place where women cannot go. You may just become the Kwisatz Haderach and make it rain on Dune.
3. If you stacked a million Magic 8 Balls from end to end, you’d be insane.
4. A Magic 8 Ball means something else entirely on the “streets”.
5. President Nixon only decided to resign when he asked a Magic 8 Ball if he should. Its exact answer was, “Signs point to yes, jerk face.”
6. The first prototype Magic 8 Ball was made out of meat and asbestoses.
7. Every time a bell rings, a Magic 8 Ball gets its wings.
8. While an Ouija board’s mystic powers come from the terrible brimstone hatred of Satan’s black heart, he has little to do with the Magic 8 Ball.
How do you plan on celebrating this occasion? I plan on grabbing a loved one and rigerously shaking them, while asking them advice in honor of the Magic 8 Ball. It’s really the only appropriate thing to do. Please, shake a love one for the Magic 8 Ball with me! (Please Note: Do not attempt to shake anyone shorter than 3 feet tall. Unless they are a midget.. then shake away!)
Toys, toy collecting, Magic 8 Ball

December 12th, 2006 at 9:09 am
My most common questions and the answers I got:
Q: Will I marry Billy?
A: My sources say no.
Q: Am I going to get any taller?
A: Very doubtful.
Q: Will I get on the debate team?
A: Signs point to yes.
Q: Am I a nerd?
A: Without a doubt.
It was accurate to a fault, that fluid-filled hunk of black plastic and its evil icosahedron.
December 12th, 2006 at 9:19 am
That was excellent. btw I am the Kwisatz Haderach.
December 12th, 2006 at 9:27 am
Hey, if it was foretold, it was foretold.
December 12th, 2006 at 12:25 pm
lol polly.
Wow Keith, that’s strange, because I’m the one that the prophets foretold. We may have a lot in common.
December 12th, 2006 at 2:58 pm
I love the Magic 8 Ball! I visit some online. You have to watch out for the people who have theirs set up to give all mean answers. lol
December 12th, 2006 at 3:29 pm
great articlc. i’m digging up my kids 8 balls tonight.
1. Will my ex pay back child support before Christmas?
Answer: Better now tell you now.
(good, i don’t want to be behind bars for the holiday)
2. Do you see a tall dark handsome man in my future?
Answer: You may rely on it.
3. Is he over 40,under 50 and employed?
Answer: Don’t count on it.
(OK, that’s good news. Denzel is over 50!)
December 16th, 2006 at 11:06 pm
As Monty Burns would say…”EXXXCELLLLLLLENT”
December 17th, 2006 at 9:43 am
When I was young my folks were very frugal. They bought me the knock off version of Magic Eight Ball. My answers given were always the same. Its reply would be, made in China. To this day, Im still uncertain on what it all means.
February 23rd, 2007 at 11:47 am
[...] If you’re new here, be sure to cruise around the archives by either going back in the posts page by page or using my handy dandy catagories. I’ve done a little work on them to help drill down to what you want to look for, so give them a spin. There’s a lot of fun stuff on the shelf right now, especially the Top Ten Weirdest Toy Ads and my Magic Eight Ball article. [...]