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Keith Richards is a Pirate

by Paul

keith-pirate.jpg

Last week it was announced that there will be a Keith Richard’s toy made from the upcoming film Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End. One of the reasons why you might have not seen pirate Keith yet in any of the Pirate’s toy lines is that this figure is coming through courtesy of NECA, who has personal relationships with those in the music business. I guess that answers why they have so many figures of musicians then.

The news got picked up by the “mainstream” press fairly quickly. I’ve noticed that there are really only four reasons that will get the mainstream press to report on a toy:

1. A famous person is made into a toy.
2. A toy kills someone.
3. It’s Christmas time and there’s a huge inflated demand for a toy.
4. A toy says/does something bad or is some way controversial and people are angry about it.

In this case the reason is obviously the first choice. It’s a great tidbit for middle aged white people to chuckle about or early morning radio DJs to make horrendous jokes about. Something like, “Did you see Keith Richards is going to be an action figure? Yeah, he comes with a bottle of Viagra!” followed by farting and horn honking sound effects which transition into the opening chords of Start Me Up.

Regardless of whether the mainstream approves of this toy, I’m looking forward to seeing a pirate version of Richards. I could only pray that Mick Jagger somehow gets piratized at some point too. Or maybe there could be a ninja Mick Jagger. Yeah, that’s a really bad idea, but so bad it’s ingenious.

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