More Twilight Figures… sigh
Edward Cullen is back and this time he brought his girlfriend whom he creepily obsesses over. That’s right, fans of the book series and the movie Twilight can get their hands on a two pack from NECA featuring everyone’s favorite ugly vampire Edward and his dopey girlfriend Bella.
Edward is a pathetic vampire and this is from never seeing the movie or reading the book. I just know. First of all, he’s got no cape. No respectable vampire struts around town without a cape. Secondly, he wears stripper glitter. Normally it’s okay to have glitter on you if you have just been to a strip club, but in this case I think he just applies it to look pretty.
I don’t know how this guy can call himself a Dracula.
Thanks to: Toy News International
Thanks to me: For trying to bait Twilight fans.
February 3rd, 2009 at 1:28 am
What’s a white version of a “Blacula” called?
February 3rd, 2009 at 8:01 am
Far too many of my students read these books, and through the general teenage girl zeitgeist I am exposed to I have learned that Edward does not wear “stripper glitter” precisely, so much as that, because he is a Special Nice Super Powered Nonthreatening Sexy Vampire, he just happens to ‘glitter’ or, rather, ’sparkle.’ ALL of the Special Nice Super Powered Nonthreatening Sexy Vampires ’sparkle’ because they’re just so special…which is why they try to avoid sunlight, because it will reveal their innate sparkliness.
God it’s so dumb beyond imagining that just typing it makes me dumber. But again, very well calculated to appeal to teenage girls, so applause to the author in that sense.
But yeah, fugly toys for fugly actors.
February 3rd, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Twilight?!? Next.
February 4th, 2009 at 1:41 am
Ya know, if I was in prison, I’d totally rape him. I’m just saying… ya know. ’cause its prison. Yeah…
*sad boosh*
February 5th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
I actually thought the movie and books were good.
February 6th, 2009 at 2:22 am
I’d buy the chick, if she was available by herself. I like getting “civilian” toys for my other toys to menace/rescue/whatever…
February 13th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
CG76 ‘I actually thought the movie and books were good.’
you must have good taste in stories then. they are good books, and it is a cool movie isnt it! and yeah of corse he wears ’stripper glitter’ how sad ! even if that was the case, he really wouldn’t need to make himself look ‘pretty’ ‘cos he a vampire! if YOU did actually KNOW something about vampires, then you would know that they are all supposed to be beautiful!
February 13th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
To be fair, Paul has read more books about vampires that weren’t written by Anne Rice than anyone I know, up to and including a book about vampire dogs. I think his knowledge of vampires is fairly extensive.
Incidentally, how funny is it that she took your advice and read the second article?
February 13th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
All vampires are beautiful? Holy crap, you must have never seen Nosferatu then have you? Or read Interview with a Vampire where they encounter that eastern European vampire… or seen Blade where there’s that really fat vampire.
Thanks for the back up Paul’s Girl.
February 13th, 2009 at 5:39 pm
everybody knows the best vampire in fiction is Bunnicula. He sucks the juice of vegetables.
Also he doesn’t glitter…
February 13th, 2009 at 8:35 pm
i never said they WERE all beautiful, i said they are SUPPOSED to be, and fyi, yes i have seen Nosferatu, and haha ‘pauls girl’ <– wot a sad dog… er, yeah ive read loads n loads of vampire books too! get a grip of a fuckin life!!
February 13th, 2009 at 9:01 pm
Seriously what’s with the personal attacks? Is there something about this book that makes you a huge a-hole when someone criticizes it?
February 16th, 2009 at 10:44 am
tbh, lots of people are ‘protective’ of it, it dont really deserve all the negative comments ,cos its cool, and very different, very different from the old crp, were vampires drink HUMAN blood, its interesting, the way Stephenie decided to make them drink animal blood….
February 16th, 2009 at 9:45 pm
It’s not interesting, it’s mind-numbingly fucking stupid.
It is a thinly-veneered way to make the character of Edward, and his ilk, seem “dangerous” to teenage girls while also making them “safe.” See, they COULD kill you…but they won’t ever because you’re so special and pretty! And they COULD kill anyone…but they won’t! Girls want that mixture of danger and safe and Mrs. Meyers found a way to deliver it.
She also found a way to deliver a 4-book long lecture on abstinence until marriage and the evils of pre-marital sex (if they’d had sex before marriage, he totally would’ve bitten and killed her, see?) AND to reveal her deep seated and thoroughly frightening psychoses regarding her own status as a mother (Bella’s baby CLAWS its way out of her fucking womb, or something akin to that, and nearly kills her in the process). Bet her kids feel just GREAT about that one, don’t they?
February 17th, 2009 at 3:18 am
The “animal blood” thing isn’t any kind of innovation, either. In fact, has there been a vampire story in the past three decades that DIDN’T involve the sympathetic vamps subsisting on animal blood instead of human?
February 17th, 2009 at 8:18 am
Lesse:
“Interview With a Vampire.” In the film, the vamps sometimes eat rats. Check.
“Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” series. Angel, and later Spike, subsist on pig’s blood purchase from a local butcher. Check.
“Blade.” Gets a synthesized blood thinger to keep him from eating people. Check.
“Twilight” vamps eating animal’s blood original? Hardly.
March 5th, 2009 at 8:25 pm
Really? Everything relating to Twilight has to have f-bombs thrown around? What are you guys so angry at? VAMPIRES AREN’T REAL. GROW UP.
Lol.
While I’m here, here’s an overview of what the movie is like:
Part 1: http://wizarduniverse.invisionzone.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=27137&view=findpost&p=858192
Part 2: http://wizarduniverse.invisionzone.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=27137&view=findpost&p=858253
Part 3: http://wizarduniverse.invisionzone.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=27137&view=findpost&p=858762