Toy Bender

Since my regular readers (and therefore the best ones) will leave comments 99% of the time, I don’t get a lot of toy related emails from this site. However I’ve gotten a nice, if not modest, collection of mails to share with you again (click here for the first installment). Now get your laughing hat on, it’s go time.

Subject: Speedy Stringer from Fire Mountain

Do you have any testimonials on how well this gadget works? If it works it sounds like a great tool to have.

Also I have an old doll that I have never seen anything like before. Not very big (8-9in.), fabric body filled with excessior or saw dust and a composition face. Her arms are cloth and move but her legs are swen into her body and stationary. Sort of a pathetic looking thing.

I do not collect dolls but do appreciate them. I have no idea as to how to go about finding anything out about this thing. Visited the National Doll Museum as well as the toy museum in Kansas City last year on vacation but saw nothing like her there either. Just thought I might ask.

Thanks for the oppertunity

While this is a nice email, let’s take a look at a couple of things. The first is the Speedy Stringer in the subject line that I’m being asked about. Let’s take a look at it for a moment and think about what I might know about such a device.

From their website:

Use the Speedy Stringer for crocheting, knitting, loom weaving or multiple-strand jewelry projects. Simply pour beads into the bowl, insert the specially designed needle, then spin the brass knob to string hundreds of beads in no time at all.

Yeah… I thought so, I have absolutely know no idea what the hell this thing is or what one would do with it. As for dolls? What on this site would indicate I’d know anything about dolls? Yeah I talk about toys, but does the average websurfer see this blog and think of it as the headquarters for antique dolls and craft projects? God, I hope not.

On another note, I’ve gotten a few more offers for toys including this odd one:

Joey wrote: This actually isn’t about feedback. I have a swimming Ninja Turtles toy from back when I was a kid that was made with two right hands. Would an of you be interested in this?

I really enjoy the fact that when you run a blog that talks about toys, people automatically assume you want to buy their garbage. If I ran a blog about movies would readers ask me if I wanted to buy their crappy DVDs?

The best of my emails had to be this one, though:

Dr. Eric V Lee wrote: I have a new Toy invention (B.A.S.H.)Bible.Action.Super.Heroes. I’m trying to get them on the market can you please help me, thanks, contact me at (***)***-**** or (***)***-****

You might not know this, but not only do I write a big time blog, have an intricate knowledge of antique dolls, am up to date on the latest technological advances in the exiting world of crafts, collect toys with bizarre factory errors, I also have a high level contacts in the toy industry that can get a toy from conceptional stage to full on production in a matter of weeks. That is why I’m a millionaire and not some marketing company drone who writes about toys to escape his dull existence.

By the way, check out the website Dr. Eric V. Lee (I pretend the V stands for Von, it’s much more sinister) included in the mail, www.defeatthestreets.com. I have a feeling Dr. Eric Von Lee is some sort of super villian. Check out his picture here. It’s like a blurry images a crack anti-terrorist team would get during their briefing before their big mission. “This is Dr. Eric Von Lee, the most dangerous man alive. Whatever you do, watch out for his sword arm.”

Some of their requirements for his organization to help you seem a little creepy as well:

This program serves adult offenders who are in prison or newly released and at-risk youth. We assist persons who:

Are willing to work

Have no problem submitting to authority or to a rigid post-release program

I think Dr. Eric Von Lee forgot to add, “Must be willing to wear a brightly colored jumpsuit and face mask or helmet”, because watch out! Dr. Eric Von Lee and his evil minions are attempting to take over the world with the word of God and a few thousand sub-machine guns. Only the members of Omega Squad can hope to stop him with a little help from their ghost friends and a plucky nine year old girl.

And BLAM, I’ve got a much more interesting toy line idea that I’m going to bring to my next meeting with Hasbro.

toy, toy collecting, action figure, toys, hobby