Toy Bender

Since I’m completely obsessed with G.I. Joe lately, there’s going to be a few more Joe commercials in Toy Ads that Time Forgot than usual. Sorry, but thems the breaks. This time I’d like to take a moment to go into one of my favorite Joe vehicles, the Rolling Thunder.

This ad is notable for using a bit of animation while the Rolling Thunder never appeared in the cartoon, or at least the cartoon that counts. I always hated that after a certain point the Sunbow version of the G.I. Joe cartoon didn’t reflect the latest toys because the DIC version was simply unwatchable.

The Rolling Thunder was one of the last big G.I. Joe vehicles/playsets after a legacy of sweet releases like the Terrordrome and the USS Flagg. While it doesn’t reflect the quality of some of those earlier toys, it does have got some fantastic features packed into it that make it a great toy, like the mini-vehicle, the giant sliding cannon on the back, and the ability to haul a good amount of Joes on it. I remember getting the Rolling Thunder for Christmas and going ape nuts because here was a toy that was not only a vehicle, but also sort of a base. Oh the massive planning meetings and eventual fighting that would occur. Coincidently, I got my Rolling Thunder the same year I got the rather large X-19 stealth fighter. I don’t know how my parents were able to afford my love that year, but buy it they did!

One of the best things about the Rolling Thunder is the gigantic missiles that are about a foot long. Each missile contains two sets of smaller missiles. I’ve seen other Joe fans that don’t like them simply because it’s overkill and Joes are above that sort of thing. That’s what a Communist would say. America is all about overkill! My Joes used them as nukes and they were quite liberal with such usage. In fact, they would use the smaller missiles as cluster bombs to soften their foes up and THEN the nukes would hit. Now that’s what America is all about.

Sadly, my Rolling Thunder didn’t end well. The wheels became incredibly squeaky and shortly after applying a healthy does of WD-40 on each one, they broke off. With the wheels broken, my Father decided that the vehicle wasn’t worth keeping around any longer. I think his decision was also motivated by the fact that I was heading into puberty and I hadn’t even talked to a girl yet. I stripped it of all the parts that I could before the main body was sent into the great garbage can of beyond. Someday the Rolling Thunder will be mine again, until then I’ll watch this commercial about a dozen times while crying softly to myself.