Toy Bender

The Venture Bros. is hands down one of the funniest cartoons of all time, and every season it gets better. The only thing missing from the whole Venture Bros. experience is toys! If Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Family Guy can have action figures, where is the Venture Brothers line? Bring on the Venture toys I say!

The biggest problem with a possible Venture Brothers toy line, if it can actually be considered a problem, is that the show has only been around for two years and there are enough characters and variants of those characters that it would be really hard for me to come up with any sort of top ten most wanted list. There’s just too many to pick from! Therefore, I’ve compiled a top twenty most wanted Venture Bros. figure list. Now let’s get started with 20 to 11.

20. Henchmen 24:

Who doesn’t love a henchman that resembles comedian Ray Romano? Except for maybe Ray Ramano, then having a henchman that resembles yourself just may be redundant and confusing in delicate social situations.

19. Henchmen 21:

The other half of the lovable henchman duo. 21 and 24 need to be together with jetpack accessories and some useless movie and comic props in order to fully take advantage on this less than stellar, yet hilarious, henchman duo.

18. Pete White: See entry for Master Billy Quizboy.

17. Jefferson Twilight: J.T. is one of the members in the Order of the Triad, Dr. Orpheus’s awesome super team. Jefferson Twilight is best known for fighting Blackulas, resembles Shaft/Sam Jackson/Sam Jackson as Shaft, and can’t come up with a witty action phrase to save his life. He’s also got two swords for slicing up baddies, which would make him a popular figure with the kiddies.

16. Manic Eightball: I’m really dipping deep into the obscure Venture Bros. character pool right now, but I really like this guy. Manic Eightball is one of Baron Unterbite’s lackeys who has an magic eightball in his chest. How great would it be if this figure had a working eightball inside of him? He’s got a great costume design and I would totally need this figure.

15. Phantom Limb:

This cultured supervillian would make a great figure, because you could make his arms and legs with clear plastic. In the toy dreams of my mind, it would be awesome if you could put fiber optics in there and have them light up for his deadly zapping attack he does so well. I also dream that She-ra will rescue me from an evil knight and make sweet love to me on the back of her horse as we ride into the sunset, but that was probably a mistake to tell you that.

14. Dr. Jonas Venture, Jr.: Isn’t it sad that the super awesome son was eaten by his brother in the womb? Oh well, he’s got a Pirate for a buddy and he gets all the hot chicks, so life can’t be all that bad for him any more. I see him as more of the Yoda in the line. A small figure with lots of accessories.

13. Dr. Thaddeus Venture:

The reason Dr. Venture isn’t higher up on the list should be obvious. A guy that can start lactating when he’s frightened isn’t my top choice for an action figure. However, you can’t make a Venture Brothers figure line without him to complete the family.

12. Master Billy Quizboy:

Billy’s got it all, a big head, a weird lisp, an eye patch, and a robot arm. What kid doesn’t want to aspire to be just like him? It would be insane not to make a Pete White, the odd albino, to go along with your Dr. Billy figure too. These two are an inseparable pair like a mutant version of Bert and Ernie.

11. Molotov Cocktease:

This woman is the bane of normally cool as ice Brock Sampson. Make her a chase figure and she’ll be the bane of toy collectors too. A chastity belt accessory is a must for this rather scantily clad super spy with the heart shaped eye patch and big boobs.

It’s usually best to end a post with a mention of big boobs, so be sure to keep an eye out for the final ten most wanted Venture Bros. figures coming in the sort of near future.

Toys, toy collecting, action figure, The Venture Bros., Adult Swim