Toy Bender

What? It’s been a month already since the last This Month in ToyFare? Wow, how time flies. I realize that I’m super late with this one, but my work has been notched up from not much to do to uber-insane. Still, I managed to slog it through and lived to bring you your monthly dose of ToyFare impressions. Enjoy!

Cover: Harry Potter? meh. Johnny Depp? ehh. Kevin Costner in Robin Hood outfit! Sweetness!

Ad Pages 2 and 3: Nerdgasm! Holy crap. I gotta take a nap for awhile after that one. (Look for more commentary on this ad in the future)

Page 6 - Inside the Monkey House: Any time a man jumps in a fire I’m on board. I do beg to differ with Thing though, muttonchops is a super power.

Page 9 - Quick Hits: Holy crapola! I made it into the Quick Hits! Behold:

In case you’re wondering, there is a spelling error in there. I’m not going to point fingers here, but I think maybe a little ToyBender.com website url somewhere in the next issue of ToyFare might make up for it… No? Damn, it was worth a shot. Anyway, the fact that I got in on one is still “off the hook” as the kid’s say.

Page 10 - Friends of F.O.O.T.: Poor Kenny Baker, can’t he just go to the bathroom in peace? Shesh, I can only imagine getting approached for a picture by a nerd anywhere near a bathroom. That has to be extremely frightening. Kenny’s word balloon joke on the other hand? Freaking hilarious.

Page 12 - The Hot Plate: Man, I swear I’ve been separated at birth from the ToyFare crew. I love Red Robin. I love it so much I’d even make its bastard stepchildren my own. Anyway, I also like that G1 Soundwave is on here, which is like 10 awesome.

And because I have a twisted sense of humor, I’m awarding, “You don’t wanna know where my teeth are!” The speech bubble based joke of the issue! Way to go anonymous ToyFare writer!

Pages 14 and 15 - Customizing 101: I asked for it and here’s more of it. This stuff is great. I kind of like how it’s not in every single issue too. I don’t need to get too invested, just a little here and there.

Page 22: How did I miss these cute X-Men themed Superhero Squad figures? Wolvie is awesome!

Page 23: Is it just me or does Hoppy look a lot like the Nesquik bunny?

Page 26: Great scuba joke.

Page 28: What is with Hasbro and silver colored exclusives? Why are these desirable? Please someone, let me know.

Page 30: Aliens and G.I. Joe on one page! It’s nerd paradise! I’m really digging on the Cobra Commander joke here too.

Page 32: If it’s one thing Hasbro loves, it’s taking a successful idea and applying it to every single license they hold. Case in point: These very Galactic Hero-like Transformers and the Optimash Prime. Not that this is a bad thing, but these kinds of things are becoming the movie sequels of the toy world. Where are the original ideas?

Page 34: Ever since reading Breakfast of the Gods, I can’t ever look at Count Chocula, Frankenberry, and Booberry the same way again.

Page 36: WTF? What are these A Christmas Carol busts? Who on Earth would want one? This is insane and a little odd looking considering they’re a bunch of nearly free floating torsos.

Pages 38 through 39: I’m sure wrestling fans will enjoy picking a fan choice figure, but since I think wrestling is stupid I’ll skip this. Now before you get mad at me wrestling fans, remember that I’m really into Logan’s Run.

Pages 40 through 54: Even though I don’t plan on getting 99% of the stuff in this guide, it’s neat to see what’s out there in the summer movie collectible world.

Pages 56 through 60: I’m not a big statue guy, but I do love reading about comics and nerds talking about their favorite comic book scenes, so this feature was pretty much made for me.

Pages 62 and 63: Now this is what I’m talking about! I’m a little shamed to admit this, but I have a secret love for the Kevin Costner Robinhood film and the satire it spawned, Robin Hood: Men in Tights. When I was a kid, I couldn’t believe that I was seeing the Ewok Village in stores again under the guise of Robin Hood toys. I thought I was the practically the only one who noticed or cared. It’s nice to see that others out there has a fine geek eye focused on what’s really important.

Pages 66 through 83: Wow… this Battlestar Galactica episode guide was a pretty hotly debated topic on the ToyFare message boards. Some hate it, others like it, and others are a bit ambivalent about its place in the ToyFare. Me, I pretty much got off the BSG train when it jumped the evil robo-shark this season, because man it really sucked like Hitler on ice. The one thing I really like about these episode guides are the insights from actors/creators of the shows on a particular episode, which totally makes it worth reading even if it’s a show I don’t care that much about. As to whether or not a TV episode guide belongs in a toy magazine? I’d say include one every once in awhile, but not too often. Anyone else have input on this?

Pages 84 through 92 - Twisted ToyFare Theatre: Wow, just wow. This Twisted ToyFare Theatre was great on every single level. I haven’t read one this good in awhile. I can’t even pick out a favorite part! Look at me gush!

Pages 94 and 95 - Top 10 Hottest Action Figures: Ahhh the Treachery at Saleucami clone pack rears it’s awesome head. To get these or not, that is the question. Hell, the question is whether I’m going to even see these things in stores.

And to answer Green Goblin’s Question: Yes, yes I would prefer the Mardi Gras mask from the first movie.

Page 104: Why isn’t Battleship Galactica a game yet?

That’s all for now, tune in next month for more pulse pounding This Month in ToyFare action. Or keep coming back for daily Toy Bender updates. I’d actually prefer it if you did that.

toy, toy collecting, toy collectors, hobby, ToyFare, magazine