This Month in ToyFare: #120 August 2007
Oh yeah, it’s ToyFare in your face!
This ToyFare is Transformer heavy and for a damn good reason, the live action movie is coming out next month! How could ToyFare not squeeze out every last bit of Transformers juice before Micheal Bay either destroys the franchise or makes us love it even more?
Now, on with the impressions!
Page 6 - Inside the Monkeyhouse: I love this one, mainly because of the power trio of Lion, Optimus, and Chops. What’s not to love?
Page 9: Ass trauma isn’t as fun as it’s cracked up to be. Not that I’d know or anything…
Also congrats to sometimes Toy Bender visitor thatbatmanfan on getting his first Quick Hits.
Page 10: Dear Dallas Graf of Mackinow, Il, it was a joke. Besides, why are you insulting the dudes of ToyFare for collecting toys when you were reading a toy magazine and took the time to write?! How many times does a conversation about spaying and neutering come up when you hang out with females? Right now I’m at 0.
Pages 12 and 13: This doll is making me feel funny in the pants region, must turn page quickly.
Page 15: Okay that’s better. That landlord video is simply genius.
Page 19: Curse my metal hide. I missed the Stan Lee Marvel Legends figure in my Comic-Con exclusive figure coverage. I guess this is why I read ToyFare. Well, that and for the funny.
Page 24: I can only imagine what forty year old perverts will do with that Tonner Malfoy. Horrible, horrible things if one glance at Harry Potter internet fan-fiction is any indication.
Page 30: Now this is a tough one. There are a lot of speech bubble jokes in this issue, but for some reason this one stuck with me in particular. I’m awarding the Commander Neyo joke the, “Speech Bubble Based Joke of the Issue.” Way to go… whoever! Honorary Mention goes to the Snoopy joke lower on the page.
Page 34: Boobs!
Page 42: Storm Shadow vs. Tiger combines several of my passions: Storm Shadow, tigers, and being lead around on a leash. Please don’t ask.
Page 43: It seems like Four Horseman has decided to sculpt a wave full of figures I owned or had frequent contact with. I used to love Jitsu because his pimp slapping, solid gold hand, or Mosquitor’s “blood” that would trickle down his chest. And Battle Armor He-Man? My cousin’s Battle Armor He-Man and my Battle Armor Skeletor would exchange a few words (and bash each other good) quite frequently. Ahhh good times.
Page 45: Nobody defines the term “sell out” better than Gwen Stefani.
Pages 50 and 51: I really liked this two page spread showing the different forms of Optimus Prime, even though it was light on the usual ToyFare style of giving some true info and then throwing in a fart joke. It’s a breath of fresh air… so to speak.
Page 59: Thank you ToyFare for coming up with a name for that G1 Transformers game. I’d seen a video of it on YouTube, but I thought it was fake. Why oh why haven’t we gotten a game like that over here?
Page 60 and 61: I really dig on this look at the Transformer movie merchandise. It reminds me of when I was a kid and had to have everything Star Wars. It also reminds me of the Transformer Underroos I once owned. I’m not so sure I’d want my girlfriend to dance around in them though… I don’t think Underoos would fit anyone who’s above eight years old.
Page 61: Good call on the Death Star vs. Unicron battle. The real battle should be between Unicron and Galactus, since they are eaters of worlds, not just destroyers of worlds. I’d put my money on Galactus any day. Big purple helmets always win.
Page 67: Oh why oh why couldn’t they include the picture of the transforming alarm clock raccoon that drums on his own giant testicles?
Page 68 through 80 - Twisted ToyFare Theatre: I’m not a big Harry Potter fan, but this TTT was pretty decent. The best joke was at the beginning, though. For some reason I cracked up when I read, “Now let us all pretend that nothing is out of the ordinary while the student choir serenades us… with toads!”
Pages 82 and 83 - Top 10 Hottest Action Figures: What world am I living in? Two Rocky figures, a stupid Star Wars Transformer, and an ugly wrestler are in the top ten list? Seriously?
Pages 84 through 91: Nice price guide. I can’t believe the wiping comment has to be the worst speech balloon ever. I think the pro-fascism rant a few issues back was worse. Wait, that was Bizarro ToyFare, my bad.
Page 93: Bumble Bee’s clone? How can a robot have a clone?
Page 100: Transformers Kiss Players: Another reason why I both fear and love the Japanese.
Page 104: And Naked Jonathan Frakes is back, this time with his own cereal line (?). Pssst…the number one shaped marshmallows also look like penises. Hilarious and nutritious!
toy, toy collecting, toy collectors, hobby, ToyFare, magazine
June 21st, 2007 at 5:33 pm
Yeah, you tell Dallas! I thought that was the most inane letter ever!!!
June 21st, 2007 at 5:35 pm
Hah thanks Tripper, good to hear from you. I couldn’t believe he was making fun of a toy magazine. What was he doing reading it in the first place?
June 21st, 2007 at 6:21 pm
Exactly!