Toy Bender

The original look at the greatest non-adult toy magazine around is back this month with a look at issue #134. I’ve learned an important lesson this month. ToyFare is not only good for pooping related reading, but it is is a great thing to stare at while using the elliptical machine. It’s almost good as a copy of Jugs and only slightly more family friendly.

Okay, let’s do this!

Cover: This is the world premiere (except for the early preview on Topless Robot) of Mattel’s new Skeletor. Looking good!

Page 4 - Inside the Monkeyhouse: This is similar to how my wife gets me to do the dishes, except she calls it “Discs of Tron.”

Ad opposite Page 4: Oh man, I’m pumped to get my filthy hands on a Galatea figure (the Powergirl of the JLU universe). I’m hoping that Atomic Skull skull looks that good in real life.

Page 7 - FanFare: Enrique Mercado asks, “Who wouldn’t want Quinton “Rampage” Jackson, Chuck Liddell, Anderson Silva, Kimbo Slice or any other MMA figure?” My answer is me.

Page 8 - FanFare: Nate DeWitt just gave me an idea for an article about my obsession with the ‘89 Batman and toys related to it. Thanks Nate!

Anthony Mixon: Curse you! I was thinking about pitching a Sky Commanders article to ToyFare! Argh!

Page 12 - The Hot Plate: Yes! The Soup is totally awesome. Watch it!

Page 15 - Incoming: That CAPTAIN MARVEL figure is pretty cool, but I don’t know why they always sculpt him as smiling. Superman isn’t always smiling, why does CAPTAIN MARVEL have to smile?

Page 18 - Incoming: I already own a vintage Optimus (nearly complete) and the 90s Generation 2 remake MIB. So I really shouldn’t need the 25th Anniversary one, but I want it ever so bad. Why am I like this?

Page 24 and 25 - Incoming: Legos! Keep them coming! They qualify as toys and are awesome, so they belong in ToyFare.

Page 28 - Incoming: Hot damn I need that Power Girl, it totally sucks that I have to wait until fall to get one. Maybe I’ll break and buy a few figures from the crappy first wave to tide me over.

Page 32 - Incoming: I really like the bit knocking the Saw dude’s modus operandi.

Ad opposite page 36: Holy Crom, Brians Toys is selling a rocket firing Boba Fett for nearly eighteen grand. That’s just all kinds of insane.

Page 39 - Incoming: Are all these Spawn figures basically the same? I do kind of like the Striker one, but otherwise this is yet another Spawn line I will have to pass up.

Pages 44 through 49 - Return of the Masters: Excellent article about the return of He-Man toys. There are a few things that both excited me and disappointed me in the line. One disappointment is that there won’t be any action features in the line. I know this line is geared towards adults, but there are some figures that have action features that are pretty much critical to the character and super fun. Anyone every own a Mosquitor? Or how about Stinkor? Also, if I read this correctly we can only expect one new He-Man character a month? What happens a year from now when someone gets into the line and wants a He-Man? Will they have to fork over a ton of cash to get one second hand? He-Man has such a diverse line-up that it would suck to only get twelve figures max per year.

Pages 58 through 63 - No Pain, No Game: While not exactly toy related, this is a pretty entertaining article to read. I think the Long Walk should have gotten a mention though, because it seems so ordinary, but it so insanely brutal.

Pages 64 through 66 - A Star(com) is Born: Damn it! My dream article has been written and not by me! I need to get more on the ball with these things. Anyway, I plan on someday owning a complete Starmax Bomber, but I haven’t had the courage to cough up the over one hundred dollars I’ve seen on eBay for some of the really nice ones that are loose. Not to nitpick the article, but the middle section only popped up to allow access to the two seats in there, not for more firepower.

Pages 68 through 75 - Twisted Toyfare Theatre: Funny, but this isn’t the end!? Man!

Pages 76 and 77 - Top 10 Hottest Action Figures: Recently, I’ve seen accusations that this list is “pro-scalper” by showing what are considered the hottest figures going right now. Poppycock, I say. It’s kind of fun to see what figures are hot right now and scalpers are already going to know what figure is valuable without the aid of ToyFare. Anyway, nice to see there’s Joes on here again. I always love seeing figures that I own on the list.

Pages 78 and 79: People collect the Heroes figures? Seriously?

Page 80: Big Shots yay!!! Keep them coming!

Well that’s all for this month. Join me next month for all kinds of crazy the same thing as this month ToyFare talking.