This Month in Toyfare: March 2007
After the unfortunate delay, it’s the triumphant return of This Month in Toyfare. Before we get to the fun interactive part, I must make note that I found out that a few of the Toyfare gods including Mr. Magnificent Muttonchops himself, editor Zach Oat, is a regular reader of this feature. While this is pretty awesome, I promise that I’ll keep being 100% honest with my views as always. Now, grab your copy of Toyfare and follow along.
Update: I’m made a tremendous error! Mr. Oat’s muttonchops must have invaded my brain and done horrible things to it like a deadly, yet strangely captivating alien parasite, because my main reader from Toyfare is Justin Aclin (aka Willy Wampa on the Wizard Universe boards). While I hear Zach does read it too, I did blunder there. Sorry everyone.
Before I get to the impressions, I noticed that the paper is a little different with this issue. The first few pages and the last few pages seem to be on a better stock. I’m not sure if this is a fluke or not, but I dig it.
Cover: I’ve never been a big Ghost Rider fan. In fact, I’ve always thought that a guy with a flaming skull on a motorcycle was one of comicdom’s more stupid ideas. Still, that’s a pretty kick ass Ghost Rider cover.
Ad Inside Front Cover: It’s nice to see that this new Data comes with his cat. This is the perfect for all those weird Brent Spinner obsessed women that are also insane cat ladies. I also gots to get me a Barclay. Sure we all want to be Data, Captain Picard, or god help us Worf, but face it, we’re all really Barclays inside.
Ad Opposite Page 2: Again, I must be taunted by a friggen awesome clone in this ad. I better find these things at retail.
Page 8: Holy crap, Bruce Campbell in a F.O.O.T. Nice work, random guy from Rhode Island.
Page 14: Oh, snap B.C. tablet writing guy! It’s about time someone took B.C. down a peg.
Page 15. This superman really isn’t the kind of follow up I’d like to see in the super expensive (and need I say ultra hot) doll line. Where’s the DC Stars Powergirl?
Page 20: Who buys Buffy toys? I’m imagining fat chicks, gay guys, and guys who secretly wish to be gay.
Page 23: Speaking of Khan, I met a guy on my business trip last week with the last name of Khan. Yeah, I bet he regretted meeting me after I geeked out all over his shirt.
Page 25: Greatest crab joke ever.
Pages 30-31: This article is here to prove that Toyfare isn’t all fluff! No Sir, this investigative piece goes deep into the phenomena of toy motorcycles that shouldn’t exist. Seriously, this is a great little one shot article. The very idea that Wolverine would ride around on a motorcycle with his own face on it is intensely frightening.
Page 34: When I was a child the librarian ghost in the beginning of Ghostbusters scared the hell out of me. I can only imagine a child’s reaction to the Death Eater and Dementors in Harry Potter. Neat figures, though.
Page 36: Oh great, a sorting hat, a Dobby, and a Draco Malfoy figure for those of us who want to play out our favorite Harry Potter slash fiction!
Pages 40-46: I realize that some of you are pretty excited about these independent figures coming out. Therefore, I won’t poop all over your dreams. For me the only ones worth while are Madman and Judge Dredd. Namely because I love Mike Allred and I like to occasionally say, “I am the law!” while making love.
Pages 48-54: Whether you’ve decided that the upcoming Transformers movie sucks or you’re still holding out hope that it will be great, this interview is for you if you like transforming robot action.
Pages 46-59: This list of ten pop-culture legends is awesome. I bet that it has already generated a few hate mails, but everyone out there should accept the fact that Boba Fett is loved for almost no other reason than he looks cool. I do have to put on my nerd suit for a moment and say that it wasn’t Jengo’s head young Boba was holding, it was his helmet. You can clearly see the shadow of the head separate from the helmet in Attack of the Clones. Yes, I’m done now.
Pages 60-65: As a huge fan of faceless lackeys that my growing clone army can attest to, it’s a real shame to see that Hellfire guards, A.I.M. Agents, and most importantly Hand Ninjas didn’t get their moment in the sun. Maybe Hasbro will see the light and start making these guys, and just maybe Jamie Presley will return my phone calls.
Pages 66-74: After a couple of not so great Twisted Toyfare Theaters, this one really delivered the goods. Sue Storm and a whale? I can believe it. The only thing missing from her bed hopping adventure was the Silver Surfer.
Pages 78-85: Here’s a fantastic look at the 8″ G.I. Joe Sigma Six line that makes me even more interested in collecting these bad boys. I must take issue with shirtless Storm Shadow being the best Storm Shadow. That’s just a little too beefcake for me.
Page 86: Speaking of Sigma Six Storm Shadows, how can Storm Shadow be a samurai? Wouldn’t he have to assassinate himself?
Pages 88-89: How did Toyfare know that I needed a G.I. Joe price guide to aid me in some hopefully upcoming G.I. Joe figure acquisitions? I’m beginning to think somebody is watching me. Queue Michael Jackson refrain, please.
Pages 100-101: Why do they taunt me again with images of clones I cannot find? What have I done wrong!?
Page 102: I always love a good “Get to da Choppah” reference, but I was raised that it was “choppa” and not “choppah”, much like Catholics are raised to believe in saints and Lutherans are raised to believe Jesus was actually a barbarian king.
Wow, I’m a little exhausted after that amount of toy goodness so that’s all for this week. I hope I was able to deliver the same kind of top notch Toyfare impressions that everyone has come to love and expect. Remember to check back here next month after you pick up your copy of Toyfare!
January 16th, 2007 at 8:31 am
I love this part of your site. It’s such a cool idea to have an interactive page-by-page commentary of a magazine. Great read, even though I didn’t have the magazine.
January 16th, 2007 at 10:32 am
It’sll be great to have Data with “Spot”. I don’t know if you can count me as one of those crazy ladies or not. I do love cats, and I like Data a lot, but he’s not necessarily my favorite character…Hmm, now I’m going to worry about this a lot! It’s all your fault, Paul!
Yes, we’re all Barclay’s under the skin. I always found it amusing how much I thought Barclay was like “Howling Mad” Murdock, only from a different century!
January 16th, 2007 at 12:40 pm
Thanks BB! and Gayle, have you ever seen the movie Trekkies? I’m refering to the woman that calls herself a Spiner Fem. If you have not seen this film, watch it and compare yourself to her. I hope you are nothing like her for your sake!