Toy Ads That Time Forgot Tuesday 11-28-2006
For this installment of Toy Ads That Time Forgot, we’re going back to a comic book print ad and to the world of superheroes. Namely, the superhero to end all superheroes… Superman.
“Shhhh…. don’t tell Lois Lane you’re a friend of Superman, because she’s a real bag.”
Sorry kids, I had to get that dig in there. Lois Lane has always annoyed the hell out of me. She’s such a rag to Clark Kent, but gets all nicey nice when the man in the skintight red and blue underwear shows up. You know she’s only looking for a good time. Watch out Superman, she’s a man eater! Also with Lois around, Superman can’t get it on with Wonder Woman. Come on, this is the perfect pair! The world needs a Superman/Wonder Woman hook-up!
Regardless, since Superman isn’t a superhero normally associated with vehicular action, his car collection isn’t so super. The helicopter isn’t too bad, since helicopters are inherently cool. But a newspaper delivery van? Talk about super lame! (Okay, I promise I’ll stop with the super puns) I do enjoy the black kidnapper van with the Superman planted on the side. It’s a good way to lure kids to their doom AND throw off any suspicion of your crime. After all, you couldn’t POSSIBLY be a bad person if you have a Superman on the side of your van.
The real gem of the collection is the Supermobile. No, your eyes do not deceive you there are two fists on that thing just like in this picture:
Now, he only used this thing when he didn’t want to get hurt by Kryptonite. He didn’t just take it around when he was extra lazy, although that’s what I’d do. Why break a sweat when you could punch a dude sitting back with a cold one and push of a button?
This vehicle is about as tough as Superman, thanks to the fact that it was built with supermanium as this handy wiki article will tell you. I’m guessing that the indestructible alloy is named after Superman; otherwise that’s one hell of a coincidence. It’s more likely Superman named it after himself, after all he is a dick.
Toys, toy collecting, Superman, Toy Ads That Time Forgot
November 28th, 2006 at 1:15 pm
All that Kryptonian tech and all he could make was a flying version of rock’em Sock’em robots? Wait, a flying version of rock’em Sock’em robots would be really cool.
December 11th, 2006 at 9:56 pm
[...] Ad opposite Page 2: Check out that statue of Wonder Woman vs. Superman. Remember when I wrote that mini-rant about these two needing to be together? This statue just screams sexual tension. Instead of making sweet superhero love, they take out their frustrations by trying to tie each other up. [...]
March 26th, 2007 at 10:47 am
Man superdickery is one of my fave sites!
March 26th, 2007 at 10:04 pm
That very link was responsible for my fiancee losing an entire day of work to that site.