Toy Bender

I got a hankering for some older toy action and I’m out of really good toy ads at the moment, so instead of leaving you high and dry let’s take a break from the mind spanking over the newest pictures of clones and G.I. Joes and take a look at a lesser known 80s toy line, The Inhumanoids.

While I never actually owned any Inhumanoids, they were one of those toys that had me salivating when I was a kid. If I hadn’t been so invested in picking up every last scrap of Star Wars toys that was left in the hidden depths of toy stores or begging my parents for G.I. Joes that sort of looked like they could be in Star Wars (I was obsessed), I would have been all about the Inhumanoids. The Inhumanoid concept is at it’s core is brilliant: Big fuggen monsters tearing shit up and the armored dudes that fight them. There’s two great toy ideas in one line right there that almost seems like a no-brainer hit.

The Inhumanoids debuted in 1986 and came from a little toy company named Hasbro. The tie-in cartoon came from Sunbow and Marvel animation, the same people that brought children everywhere the original G.I. Joe and Transformer cartoons.

When I say that the Inhumanoids had big monsters, I mean they were monsters. The “villains” of Inhumanoids universe were fifty foot tall creatures that came from inside the Earth with the sole purpose of killing everything in sight. There were three main monsters to wreck destruction: Metlar, Tendril, and my personal favorite, D-Compose. D-Compose ruled because he could put people in his chest and turn them evil. That’s not your every day kind of evil. That’s mega-evil.

The four humans available to combat the monster threat are almost completely unimportant, except for the fact they are all suited up in battle and ready for rock-em sock-em monster fighting action.

What was really great about the series was that the monsters were bad ass bad and their toys represented their huge size with some twenty inch tall toys. That’s almost two feet of pure plastic evil, and in a child’s hands that means lots-o-fun.

The humans in the series don’t necessarily look as cool as other battle-suit encased heroes, but they’ve got enough balls to take on giant monsters so they are more than worthy heroes to take on the foul Inhumanoids..

Unfortunately, for all the awesome, Inhumanoids didn’t really catch on. Part of the reason could be that the cartoon sucked major balls. Check out this article from X-E Entertainment that goes into way more detail about how bad the show was than I ever want to try. Still, the opening of the show was pretty kick ass for however bad the cartoon itself was:

If you’re hankering for even more Inhumanoids info, check out the rather lengthy Inhumanoids Wikipedia entry. Someone with a passion for the toy and perhaps not much of a life away from their computer put a lot of info up there for your reading enjoyment.

Super Nerd Bonus Trivia: Did you know that Hector Rimiraz appeared in G.I. Joe, Jem and the Holograms, Inhumanoids, and possibly Transformers? Don’t recognize the name? He’s the jackass Geraldo Rivera “tribute” character that was always around to annoy the heroes.

toy, toy collecting, action figure, vintage, Inhumanoids