Why? Why Must This Exist?
There are many toys made that can arguably be considered a needless or a waste of plastic. Why are they made when much better toys aren’t?
NECA’s new Insane Clown Posse figures fit perfectly into this category. If you’re not familiar with Insane Clown Posse, they are two morons that pretend to be evil clowns so millions of suburban white kids have an excuse to paint their faces and pretend to be tough.
Granted, these figures are fairly accurate representations of their real life, mentally challenged counterparts. But does a group that has won awards for being voted the worst band of any genre of music have a toy made of them? I don’t see any Billy Ray Cyrus figures, likewise there shouldn’t be any Insane Clown Posse figures either.
Hmm maybe I’m being a bit too rough… let’s give them a chance. How about some sample lyrics from one of their many albums to see what kind of art they have to offer the world? (Warning: Not for you sensitive types)
I stuck her with my wang
She hit me in the balls
I grabbed her by her neck
And I bounced her off the walls
She said it was an accident and then apologized
But I still took my elbow and blackened both her eyes
Case closed: These should not exist.
Man, I bet I just alienated my huge Juggalo audience.
Toys, toy collecting, Insane Clown Posse, ICP, action figure, NECA
January 31st, 2007 at 10:28 pm
You’re going to burn in Hells Pit.
You know that right???
January 31st, 2007 at 10:42 pm
lol I was waiting for one of you guys to show up.
February 1st, 2007 at 12:05 am
Hells Pit? Isn’t that where the ICP are going? That’s more accurate.
February 1st, 2007 at 4:15 am
Wait a second…hell’s pit? It might not be so bad in there. I mean, we all know hell is the worst place to go after we die…but what if Hell’s pit is just some place in Texas where it’s just really hot? (i.e. the burning in hell’s pit thing)
I’m googling Hells Pit (since that’s how it’s spelled)
March 19th, 2007 at 10:01 pm
[...] To be fair though, ToyFare most likely has a lot of connections that might make it harder to produce such a fine magazine if they started stepping on toes. I don’t know. As someone who has virtually no connections, I’m going to tell you if a toy sucks or if I think it’s really stupid. But as soon as those big fat checks from toy companies start rolling in, all bets are off! Cha-Ching! [...]
August 1st, 2007 at 11:55 am
Yeah, we’re all suburban white kids trying to act tough because of their music. Don’t talk about an audience you know nothing about. Those type of people, the “trying to be tough” suburban white kids listen to the crap that MTV spews.
Who are you to criticize and insult when you are an adult writing reviews for toys?
August 1st, 2007 at 12:45 pm
Oh you got me. I’m so wrong. ICP is THE COOLEST untalented band of all time. All the kids that dress up like retards to be different by being like everyone else is an expression really are tough guys. They’ve got to cope with such hardships like having to mow the lawn on a Saturday and not getting the newest PS3 game.
August 10th, 2007 at 10:36 am
ok. I get it. You don’t like ICP. But does that give you a right to disrespect a band because you don’t like them? I am a juggalette and I don’t disrespect anyone without a real reason. OK, so we’re “trying to be tough” right? Well, I don’t try to be anything I’m not. I don’t pretend that I can kick anyone’s ass, because if I can’t, then I can’t. I have won fights and I’ve lost them. And, by the way, I still have the original Playstation. I don’t like the PS3. It’s too expensive. Believe me, all the money I have right now is enough to buy up to 5 Faygos. And that’s at Fiesta (2 for $1)
and that shows how broke some of us are. I work to help my parents with the bills. I watch my little sister and go to school when I’m not working. It’s all imbeciles that think we’re all suburban white kids that try to be tough and who have “got to cope with such hardships like having to mow the lawn on a Saturday and not getting the newest PS3 game.” Now if you wouldn’t mind, please stop disrespecting us.
August 10th, 2007 at 11:52 am
“But does that give you a right to disrespect a band because you don’t like them?”
.
Yes.
November 9th, 2007 at 7:01 am
[...] is by far the most hideous toy in existence and I never thought I’d say that after seeing the ICP figures. I’d almost believe that Super Rad Toys was trying to give me a heart attack by sending me an [...]
November 9th, 2007 at 1:32 pm
EEEyew!!!… and for ‘Khaotyk’: If anyone likes that band, it’s because they’ve never taken the initiative to find better stuff. …ICP screams self-esteem issues, wimp.
January 10th, 2008 at 1:13 am
ICP and all of psychopathic record’s artists are better than an adult writing reviews for toys. I am with you all the way khaotyk. JUGGALLO 4 LIFE!
January 10th, 2008 at 11:55 am
Yes, because adults dressing up like clowns is much better than an adult writing about toys.
By the way synyster and khaotyk, I think you guys forgot that the letter “i” exists.
January 12th, 2008 at 1:12 am
ah, you forgot lipsynching - dressing up like clowns and lipsynching.
So does being an ICP fan automatically require the kind of spelling impediment that makes the lulziest middle schooler on AOL seem like the editor of the OED? Or is it optional?
And can you imagine other pretend bands having this kind of hardcore dedicated following? Like, kids dressing up as the Archies and pretending “Sugar Sugar” is an example to live your life by? They could call themselves “Juggheadallos”…
May 4th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
It is indeed sad that things like this get made when I can rattle off other ideas I’d rather see new toys from, such as the Ghostbusters, Johnny Five, etc.
May 16th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Those type of people, the “trying to be tough� suburban white kids listen to the crap that MTV spews.
Absolutely fucking right.
May 16th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
>>Yes, because adults dressing up like clowns is much better than an adult writing about toys.<<
Exactly!
May 16th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
QUOTE:>>”Oh you got me. I’m so wrong. ICP is THE COOLEST untalented band of all time.”<<
The “untalented” bands are the MTV crap that YOU listen to, like Staind or the Backstreet Boys. ICP are good rappers, and Mike E. Clark’s music is great.
May 16th, 2008 at 10:45 pm
And in further delusional nitwit news, this may be the first time in history that someone listening to Backstreet Boys has ever been described as “trying to be tough.”
ICP is about as high on the “legitimate musical talent” scale as Ashlee Simpson or Milli Vanilli…
June 2nd, 2008 at 9:40 pm
It interesting that you write about these people dressing up like clowns. As you said it is much better than a grown man wasting time giving biased opinion and trying to pass them off as reviews. Insane Clown Posse are very good rappers. The song you gave a sample of was a song intended to be silly in a twisted way. This proves superior to you as that they actually achieved what they set out for, making wierd song and giving kids something to believe in. Oh and i love this quote “By the way synyster and khaotyk, I think you guys forgot that the letter “i� exists.� in that the word synyster is the name of a renowned guitar player, point to remark, your a dumbass.
June 3rd, 2008 at 1:58 am
no, “you’re” a dumbass. Particularly if you think what they set out for was anything other than making a quick buck - same motivating factor as every other crappy band out there. As long as the kids “believe in” forking over $20 for a cd, that’s enough. I might as well try to claim Sugar Ray is out there trying to create world-changing anthems.
As for “Synyster,” I assume you’re referring to Gates? Yeah, his real name’s Brian. Copying someone else’s pretentious pseudonym is no excuse for stupid spelling…
June 3rd, 2008 at 10:36 am
This is the post that keeps on giving.
July 19th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Can ICP be considered a band? Let’s see. According to the definition of band from dictionary.com, it is (as relates to music): “a. a group of instrumentalists playing music of a specialized type: rock band; calypso band; mariachi band.
b. a musical group, usually employing brass, percussion, and often woodwind instruments, that plays esp. for marching or open-air performances.”
Hmmm, plays their own instruments: Nope.
plays brass, drums, woodwinds, etc. and marches or does open-air performances: Nope.
Looks like ICP isn’t a band. Oh well, they still suck.
Sam
July 19th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
By the way, I really like all the Ad Hominem attacks on this particular blog. It really reminds me of the playground back when I was a kid.
Sam