Why? Why Must This Exist?
There are many toys made that can arguably be considered a needless or a waste of plastic. Why are they made when much better toys aren’t?
NECA’s new Insane Clown Posse figures fit perfectly into this category. If you’re not familiar with Insane Clown Posse, they are two morons that pretend to be evil clowns so millions of suburban white kids have an excuse to paint their faces and pretend to be tough.
Granted, these figures are fairly accurate representations of their real life, mentally challenged counterparts. But does a group that has won awards for being voted the worst band of any genre of music have a toy made of them? I don’t see any Billy Ray Cyrus figures, likewise there shouldn’t be any Insane Clown Posse figures either.
Hmm maybe I’m being a bit too rough… let’s give them a chance. How about some sample lyrics from one of their many albums to see what kind of art they have to offer the world? (Warning: Not for you sensitive types)
I stuck her with my wang
She hit me in the balls
I grabbed her by her neck
And I bounced her off the walls
She said it was an accident and then apologized
But I still took my elbow and blackened both her eyes
Case closed: These should not exist.
Man, I bet I just alienated my huge Juggalo audience.
Toys, toy collecting, Insane Clown Posse, ICP, action figure, NECA
January 31st, 2007 at 10:28 pm
You’re going to burn in Hells Pit.
You know that right???
January 31st, 2007 at 10:42 pm
lol I was waiting for one of you guys to show up.
February 1st, 2007 at 12:05 am
Hells Pit? Isn’t that where the ICP are going? That’s more accurate.
February 1st, 2007 at 4:15 am
Wait a second…hell’s pit? It might not be so bad in there. I mean, we all know hell is the worst place to go after we die…but what if Hell’s pit is just some place in Texas where it’s just really hot? (i.e. the burning in hell’s pit thing)
I’m googling Hells Pit (since that’s how it’s spelled)
March 19th, 2007 at 10:01 pm
[...] To be fair though, ToyFare most likely has a lot of connections that might make it harder to produce such a fine magazine if they started stepping on toes. I don’t know. As someone who has virtually no connections, I’m going to tell you if a toy sucks or if I think it’s really stupid. But as soon as those big fat checks from toy companies start rolling in, all bets are off! Cha-Ching! [...]
August 1st, 2007 at 11:55 am
Yeah, we’re all suburban white kids trying to act tough because of their music. Don’t talk about an audience you know nothing about. Those type of people, the “trying to be tough” suburban white kids listen to the crap that MTV spews.
Who are you to criticize and insult when you are an adult writing reviews for toys?
August 1st, 2007 at 12:45 pm
Oh you got me. I’m so wrong. ICP is THE COOLEST untalented band of all time. All the kids that dress up like retards to be different by being like everyone else is an expression really are tough guys. They’ve got to cope with such hardships like having to mow the lawn on a Saturday and not getting the newest PS3 game.
August 10th, 2007 at 10:36 am
ok. I get it. You don’t like ICP. But does that give you a right to disrespect a band because you don’t like them? I am a juggalette and I don’t disrespect anyone without a real reason. OK, so we’re “trying to be tough” right? Well, I don’t try to be anything I’m not. I don’t pretend that I can kick anyone’s ass, because if I can’t, then I can’t. I have won fights and I’ve lost them. And, by the way, I still have the original Playstation. I don’t like the PS3. It’s too expensive. Believe me, all the money I have right now is enough to buy up to 5 Faygos. And that’s at Fiesta (2 for $1)
and that shows how broke some of us are. I work to help my parents with the bills. I watch my little sister and go to school when I’m not working. It’s all imbeciles that think we’re all suburban white kids that try to be tough and who have “got to cope with such hardships like having to mow the lawn on a Saturday and not getting the newest PS3 game.” Now if you wouldn’t mind, please stop disrespecting us.
August 10th, 2007 at 11:52 am
“But does that give you a right to disrespect a band because you don’t like them?”
.
Yes.
November 9th, 2007 at 7:01 am
[...] is by far the most hideous toy in existence and I never thought I’d say that after seeing the ICP figures. I’d almost believe that Super Rad Toys was trying to give me a heart attack by sending me an [...]
November 9th, 2007 at 1:32 pm
EEEyew!!!… and for ‘Khaotyk’: If anyone likes that band, it’s because they’ve never taken the initiative to find better stuff. …ICP screams self-esteem issues, wimp.
January 10th, 2008 at 1:13 am
ICP and all of psychopathic record’s artists are better than an adult writing reviews for toys. I am with you all the way khaotyk. JUGGALLO 4 LIFE!
January 10th, 2008 at 11:55 am
Yes, because adults dressing up like clowns is much better than an adult writing about toys.
By the way synyster and khaotyk, I think you guys forgot that the letter “i” exists.
January 12th, 2008 at 1:12 am
ah, you forgot lipsynching - dressing up like clowns and lipsynching.
So does being an ICP fan automatically require the kind of spelling impediment that makes the lulziest middle schooler on AOL seem like the editor of the OED? Or is it optional?
And can you imagine other pretend bands having this kind of hardcore dedicated following? Like, kids dressing up as the Archies and pretending “Sugar Sugar” is an example to live your life by? They could call themselves “Juggheadallos”…
May 4th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
It is indeed sad that things like this get made when I can rattle off other ideas I’d rather see new toys from, such as the Ghostbusters, Johnny Five, etc.
May 16th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Those type of people, the “trying to be tough? suburban white kids listen to the crap that MTV spews.
Absolutely fucking right.
May 16th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
>>Yes, because adults dressing up like clowns is much better than an adult writing about toys.<<
Exactly!
May 16th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
QUOTE:>>”Oh you got me. I’m so wrong. ICP is THE COOLEST untalented band of all time.”<<
The “untalented” bands are the MTV crap that YOU listen to, like Staind or the Backstreet Boys. ICP are good rappers, and Mike E. Clark’s music is great.
May 16th, 2008 at 10:45 pm
And in further delusional nitwit news, this may be the first time in history that someone listening to Backstreet Boys has ever been described as “trying to be tough.”
ICP is about as high on the “legitimate musical talent” scale as Ashlee Simpson or Milli Vanilli…
June 2nd, 2008 at 9:40 pm
It interesting that you write about these people dressing up like clowns. As you said it is much better than a grown man wasting time giving biased opinion and trying to pass them off as reviews. Insane Clown Posse are very good rappers. The song you gave a sample of was a song intended to be silly in a twisted way. This proves superior to you as that they actually achieved what they set out for, making wierd song and giving kids something to believe in. Oh and i love this quote “By the way synyster and khaotyk, I think you guys forgot that the letter “i? exists.? in that the word synyster is the name of a renowned guitar player, point to remark, your a dumbass.
June 3rd, 2008 at 1:58 am
no, “you’re” a dumbass. Particularly if you think what they set out for was anything other than making a quick buck - same motivating factor as every other crappy band out there. As long as the kids “believe in” forking over $20 for a cd, that’s enough. I might as well try to claim Sugar Ray is out there trying to create world-changing anthems.
As for “Synyster,” I assume you’re referring to Gates? Yeah, his real name’s Brian. Copying someone else’s pretentious pseudonym is no excuse for stupid spelling…
June 3rd, 2008 at 10:36 am
This is the post that keeps on giving.
July 19th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Can ICP be considered a band? Let’s see. According to the definition of band from dictionary.com, it is (as relates to music): “a. a group of instrumentalists playing music of a specialized type: rock band; calypso band; mariachi band.
b. a musical group, usually employing brass, percussion, and often woodwind instruments, that plays esp. for marching or open-air performances.”
Hmmm, plays their own instruments: Nope.
plays brass, drums, woodwinds, etc. and marches or does open-air performances: Nope.
Looks like ICP isn’t a band. Oh well, they still suck.
Sam
July 19th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
By the way, I really like all the Ad Hominem attacks on this particular blog. It really reminds me of the playground back when I was a kid.
Sam
November 29th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
well look at all you know it all “smart ass” people well for icp reps life and being shit on by YOU ANAS SUCKING FAGS who think your better then everyone else and being a juggalo-lette just shows that there not alone when you walk dont the street look at the guy-girl next to you can you judge them as juggalos-lettes hell no but we are does that give you the right to insult a band that puts there foot in the ass of every man woman who has said they would never amount to shit as a child hell no they just speak there mind about life a lil twistid maby but that is how they deal and how we as americans deal with everyday stress instead of another colombine we plop down on our sofa and blast a twistid son by our band and for the ass who wants to spell perfict kiss my white kid who fuckin works for a living just like the next guy but still can barly cope with all those assholes who say there better then everyone else but to my fellow fam mcl yall
December 18th, 2008 at 1:24 am
im sorry to say but most of the people that dont like icp are the ones that dont bother to take any time to listen to what they actually say….
for instance they believe in god and their fans…one of their songs says “god is the carnival and may all juggalos find him”
yes they rap about killing this and that.
and yes i understand when people get upset when they rap about killing priests…but listen to it their saying their killing priests who molest kids and husbands who cheat….they have meaning behind most of their songs…and they aint in it just for the money either. hate to burst your bubble there….because if they were they sure as hell wouldnt be walking around drinking and partying with their fans at after parties if they didnt give a shit…what other music artist do you know that will do shit like that, maybe a couple but not very many.
and as for your remark about their fans just being a bunch of suburban white kids…well thats a crock of shit…..i my self am a fan of icp and im a husband and father of 5 kids.
so for you to trash on them as artists or their fans is just you being a pig headed stereotypical imbecile……………….
havent you ever heard dont judge a book by its cover… you shud try that some time…if your able to get it into your thick skull to begin with.
so on that id like to say FUCK YOU AND HAVE A NICE DAY.MCL
Big D
December 18th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
I’m not really sure what those last two posts are supposed to be about, but it’s good to know I’m an anus sucking fag.
Oh, and I’ve listened to ICP. Hence my distaste for them. Oh, and I’m not entirely sure what heir believing in God has to do with anything.
Welp, back to sucking anuses!
Sam
December 27th, 2008 at 8:43 pm
what ever icp is the shit! u don’t like them then to damn bad! u need to shut the fuck up cause we don’t like u either! u think painting our faces is retarted then u can just fuck off!
December 29th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
You are right, ICP is shit.
Look, part of the thing with ICP is that if they and their fans were embraced by society, then they’d have no place and fans couldn’t feel like they’re special because they dress like retarded clowns. You’d be forced to dress up like 18th Century chimney sweep or something equally ridiculous to be “different.” You should be thanking me for not liking ICP, because I serve a purpose to keep you guys and gals going.
January 12th, 2009 at 9:04 am
Juggalos and juggalettes leave this these morons obv cant understand. they have no free thinking or understanding they just judge something that is different and something they dont understand. I seem to remember someone quite the same a while back what was his name again ? oh yeah thats it HITLER !. and as for the writer i cant imangine his life. Probs gets up in the morning from his single bed in his mother basement then dusts his star wars actions figures (IN BOX ONLY A SILLY JEDI WOULD OPEN THEM)then puts on his size 42inch sweats and goes to “work” at his PC talking about things that REALLY REALLY matter and make a difference in the world….TOYS ! I mean this guy is one massive contribution to society ! if i go into the battlefields i want this gent by my side in the trenches. I mean how dude ill help you get up wash your grease hair throw them slacks on and go for a jog come back miss Mcdonalds then go get yourself a salad do some situps. Look for a real job and get on with life like a real person.
Do you review barbies aswell ? bet you love making them dedress eh ?
MCL
January 12th, 2009 at 6:17 pm
You know what group started that had their own way of thinking, their own special outfits they’d wear to show unity, and their special slogans and symbols that showed they were apart from the rest of their society? The NAZIS!
See it works both ways.
And as for your assumptions about me, well anyone with brains would know that I actually have a 58″ waist on my sweatpants and I don’t have a single bed, it’s a futon.
January 15th, 2009 at 9:48 pm
Man, this just keeps getting better and better.
By the way, my favorite style of music is black metal, so I have no problem with painting faces. Observe:
Anyhow, it’s funny to me that first we see the unabashed ignorance of ICP fans in this little set of comments but we also have the guy making fun of Paul for spending his life writing about something “unimportant” like toys. As if going on the internet ranting about how anyone who has the audacity to dislike ICP is an anus sucking dickhead or some such nonsense is higher on the ladder. Hmmmm…
Hope my polysyllabic words didn’t confuse you guys!
Sam
January 15th, 2009 at 9:50 pm
Oh no! My picture didn’t post. Here’s a link for those dying to see the pic (I know you’re all out there):
http://s26.photobucket.com/albums/c126/samluvsjoes/?action=view¤t=immortal.jpg
January 28th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
Wait, not liking ICP makes me a Nazi?
I just discovered all the comments on this post. Hilarious.
If you want Dark Clowns, Darph Bobo could totally take ICP.